Lie lies in the mind

While reading some books we often feel the author has put our thoughts into word and sometimes a confusing thought is clarified or u feel so much empathy on reading them.

One such thought that always came to me was do people lie sometimes first to themselves and convince their own self that the lie is the truth and them bang it on all around insisting as that was the truth conveniently forgetting the truth themselves.

I observed it many times with people around me.I remembered this again when recently someone close was telling about their workplace.This person was talking about a new joinee who was leaving now soon ,who she thought was irresponsible ,lazy and many other things.But what she conveniently forgot was that just a month back when this new joinee had joined she liked her…in fact she said …her story is so similar to mine…she too started out as a fresher being paid less and doing all kinds of odd jobs and after two years she’s here…..then after a week another girl joined now my friend who was earlier apprehensive about this new joinee seemed to like her better than the previous one.Well from what she describes to me sure the first joinee is not of a great nature but what my friend completely forgot while using expletives for her was a month ago she liked her.

I could remind her of her words and what I would get …words like it was meant differently…or I did not say that blunt answer…an argument….souring of our relationship…..so I just listened to her but this was a perfect example of my observation. Convenience of forgetting our own words.

This is the reason I never go by first impressions…they are correct quite a lot for me but I still prefer to keep them to myself and give time before getting the whole idea stamped in my mind.

Ive read quite some fiction in Indian English but the best about middle class India ive read is by Shashi deshpande.She explores the Indian esp Middle class pschye beautifully without harsh judgements and I came across examples in her book ‘That Long Silence’that supported my thought.The book is amazingly down to earth and is so easy to relate to.

‘Ai believes in her lies’

She talks about the heroine’s mother who talks on and on about her dead uncle a school dropout who died successful and rich(the mother’s brother)…how wonderful and clever he was .how she helped him succeed though parents were against his movie career though the heroine remembers perfectly that as a child she had heard her mother hating her brother ,said he brought shame upon the family by his ways and so on.

The author explains how the old mother simply convinces herself she loved her brother all these years and he succeeded due to her support and keeps narrating to all and sundry. People who know otherwise keep shut because there no point arguing with someone who’s erased the truth from memory.

She relates other things so beautifully like when her mother tells her daughter fussing about her daughter who fusses about eating—“In my days my children ate whatever I gave them—u just fuss and spoil them”—a very contradictory thing as the daughter remembers finely her childhood when she used to be troubled about what to cook for them always and made that clear and loud.

There are other things too (I’ll write another post only on the book) which shows the Indian nature of glossing over all success forgetting conveniently the pre success story and thoughts .

I also laughed wondering the same thought when I saw on TV some old uncle singing praises of the Indian idol abhijeet sawant saying these guys hang out near the apartment and sang songs and he knew he was very good.

Really I doubt…mostly when guys hang out as an adda at aptmts and sing and make noise and play cricket most uncles in the area simply see them as a nuisance. hardly do they think then they will be famous one day for sure as he says. But that’s how people are.

If a person is brilliant and succeeds ...u c I always knew he would.

If a person who was no good say at studies and succeeds….u c I always believed he would .he’s always been damn clever…so what if he’s no good at studies.