Sunday, November 13, 2005

Passing thoughts on fate

Fate : theres ever an argument about it.Some beleive in it some dont.
Some say the destiny is in our hands some say nothing is in our hands.

I once explained my view this way to my friend.
Life is like an algorithm already written by God and thats fate but where you end up in that depends on you ashe has inserted so many decision points in it.Thus you have choices in life but not infinite.In the algorithm for you he has written 'result 1' if you say yes and 'result 2' if you say no but whatever you do you cannot get 'result 3' as its not a option for you.

ha ha i sometimes pity my friends esp those who are subjected to such but then again they are a privileged few.With most of them i just chatter on.No discussions.

Anyway why i remembered this conversation was that last night i came to know something and could only wonder about fate.She's a good friend and she got the job in software finally with a great pay and i am extremely happyfor her because i rememeber the days we struggled together.Life somehow was cruel in similar ways to us.
So why did i bring fate in ........ well she got into the company i quit a year ago....mine was not a s/w job as they were then not into it.So i asked myself am i feeling green about it....no i have many faults but envy is not one cause i couldnt care less about what others have ...its always what i want that i am concerned.

So why was i a bit upset at heart.....i asked myself .....ok the pay issue........50% may be because i am upset on that.....the other 50% is because of the way fate plays games......i somehow have no affection for my current job......forget motivation ....job satisfaction and all that.But then after a lot of thought i reminded myself it was just a knee jerk reaction.....after all what i loved there were my friends ....people with whom i had shared good bad and terrible times unlike here where if there is nothing terrible there isnt much good too.
yeah the compensation stuff hurts but its always secondary if i like everything else though i never admit it.i just add it to the crib list when all else sucks.

Then i asked myself what is it or rather who do i envy and i could come up with only 1 person.
Deepti bhatnagar.......damn lucky is she not?
Early morning she goes around loveliest and serene temples in lovely chiffons and kanjeevarams and at noon she's all over europe and other continents looking fabulous in the choicest dresses.
How much fun travel is...esp if thats a job.................... ah i really envy her.



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