Ive never haggled as such in my life and its felt a bit sick doing it.I'm not comfortable asking. I like to get what i deserve without asking but that doesn't happen in this world and with my discomfort in asking for things even from my own parents has not helped me much. But life takes you down every lane and hence what happened this week was too much for me.
I hate this whole concepts propagated in organizations taken from abroad and never tailored to our own people here.
They start doing appraisals, individual growth plans and all such things which are quite good on paper but in reality we all know how they are followed up in
Neverthless a gist of what i think was a sick conversation called negotiation
TL:I understand you are doing pretty well but feel paid less so i will ask for a raise for you
Me: ok (my thoughts: good you yourself brought it up ...but then that means i’m obliged to continue in this organization if i have a conscience which i sadly do)
I enter for the general review
PL to Tl :Lets finish hers first...i dont think this lady is critical(whatever he meant by that surely ended up differently)
Pl: you understand this is a general review not a pay review
Me : yeah
We hash out some nonsense about short term ...growth plans and long term goals this that...prove it , grab oppportunity
PL:Ok any concerns
Me: yeah I think you must consider a raise, I started off on a less scale due to my lack of experience in this domain but its time i get my due
TL:yeah i agree she needs one
PL: But you have to wait for six months for your yearly appraisal.Thats policy.
What do you do you think is special deserving a raise?
Me: blah blah some stuff
PL: So there are 7 ppl in a team of 25 doing the same how do you ADD Value(my thoughts:this is a fav word round our place with managers, the work we do seems to have no value i guess).
Me: again some stuff .....
Pl:Ok agreed you have performed well now but do we decrease your pay when you do not perform as well they how can you say increase it
Me: Speeechless( Kya negotiation hai...This is what you gain by 15 yrs exp in industry)
Me yeah but you see i got less last time too and 6 months more wait for a raise is not fair.I as it is started at less
PL: why do you think you are underpaid.There are people who work for less(Yeah Yeah Yeah aur overpaid ka kya)
TL: OK see i think she has done well and she's not getting her due and is underpaid a bit.
Pl:what do you mean by that ..you cannot think individually like that
TL Well i have to think individually for my team (Thoughts:Learning from past mistakes is good..with attrition they try to learn a bit, but i also remeber this support comes with a price...i.e:.stop thinking of a move...grow here....well what doesnt)
PL: then its 25 for you and for me a 100 and for the company a 1000 .How do we go about it
Me: (Feeeling like a watching those tennis matches head turning left to right.)
PL: See you tell me whats outstanding that i forward this raise as policy is 1 yr.
All big companies follow the same .
You tell me a growth plan...make sure you match upto it and take a good raise when your appraisal comes in next six months.
Me:If such was the case why was it not done previous time itself
PL: We did not have a growth plan policy for employees then
Me:Then whats the guarantee it will not be removed next time
PL: Policies are never removed.They are added on but never removed
Me: (Kya baat hai)Well i guess the correct word is changed
PL: yeah right they may (Quick change of topic)
See the thing is think of a Goal..pen your goals try to acheive them dont always think of money.Think of growth in Role.
Me(Superb ab yehi baaki hai sunne ko) see goals are there but on the way you need money
PL: yes just wait for 6 months more.Do something beyond your work and then get it.
Me: there should be an opportunity and scope too
PL:(This is a fav pure managerial jargon)Opportunities dont come you have to take them..Dont always think of the brighter things ..there's work everywhere back office to technical stuff ...all have their place...Go learn a foreign language ..come and tell me and as soon i get a onsite chance overseas i'll pick you.You have to come to me.
(Another chap had got a lecture when he asked about something similar that" am i your counselor why should i tell you what to do"...you do it and show it to me..moot point ---- humility does not pay here)
(My instant thought oh yeah oppportunities hmm so i have to find them)
PL:(he too knows its a common instant thought)By that i dont mean stand out and scream i available for hire.....i mean within the organization prove yourself.
and there was more...i just cant type an hour of sick conversation
Pl: In the end i cant promise anything but i will try to make ppl look at it but remember this means no more appraisal for next 1 yr.
Me:well if its not upto my expectation
Pl:thats why i say take it when its due after 6 months
Me:Well if its not what i asked for then better nothing now as i cant live for a year on
some minimum you will raise.
PL:K lets see
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releived to be out of the place....Really wishing iIdont get a raise....I want to somehow leave this place.The moment that thought came i knew i woudl get it and be trapped ..................thats the pattern of my life.
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Me to my friend outside the team....all this story the ask what do i do if they give me less
She: So what take it and if you get a better offer later leave...your pay slip will show higher amount so a better hike at a newer place
Me: but when someone make a exception for you you have to give them, their trust some due
She: oho come on dont think like that...think when you go shopping at the mall what will pay the bill for that lovely top you got dear.Be practical.
Me:yeah but i dont know i dont feel good ...it'll be better if he rejects it.I can hate him and i can move on.
She: arrre yaar tu bhi na
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Two days of calm and the you realise more terrible stuffs waiting.
Tl: ok what did you feel about the conversation that day
Me: i dont think he was keen about it
TL: yeah thats the impression you mightve got it its not right (dont know whether PL was playing out the part or TL was covering up for PL..the themselves have no love lost between them we all know)... but ive spoken to him and while what youve asked is not feasible at all as that needs outstanding explanation which will make it hard but a trifle less i can manage but thats what it will be for a year.
So tell me what you prefer wait 6 months or take this now
Me: (i know once i take this special favor i have to stick on for a year unless i sudddenly lose my conscience its a very bad thing to have here in this industry) Ah well see (this was difficult)...i will not ask but a year is too long for a individual may be not for an organisation at least consider depending on performance.
TL: I cant promise ...I may not be around as your Tl then isnt it.
Me:(News.... this is news)hmmm
Tl: Think about it by End of day
Me: Ok i agree
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Well the worst has yet to come
Tl:Ah i spoke to him ..its good you agreed he feels for a trifle less.
But see the thing is did you speak about this to ppl(knows jolly well i'll do it with friends in team)
Me: well yeah i told them i asked for it
TL:You see this will cause trouble....there are others who'd ask for review now because of this and a crowd will be to much.
Me:(Hell this is sick...this they think now)Well what you expect of me
TL: Can you not let anyone know...i know one likes to tell that they are appreciated by a raise but you should understand.
Me:(Good ness me i hate myself...that PL set this up) See i cant say blunt lies....and people will anyway find out and we both will lose credibility. This is why i said no to a big raise in next 6 months also as what would you then justify my 100% raise
compared to a 50% hike for others without making them feel bad.(it is their problem and they put that too on my head)
TL: with whom have you discussed this...have you specified the amount
Me; Well they know what i asked for.Anyway tell me what you want
TL:a morose face(i can see face reflecting ...hopeless girl ... too many friends around) See i know you deserve this its a special case but i might cause trouble.Ok is it possible you can say less tha what you get.
Me: Ok i will do that(I know its hard in a place where pay slips lie about all over the HR and to lie to friends also bcoz i know friends have good friends and so on)
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I feel sick about it.I know by the time its formalised and things slowly come out people will swarm over with questions and repeatedly i have to lie lie and lose my credibilty as such lies never stick.Then there will be that slow emergence of a general opposition and non cooperation....ah organization politics.
What you end up as all over money.....
If only there was no conscience....id have fulfilled what was that my TL said was my potential.
I should have shut up at the start i think and just left the company whenever i got a better chance but how to say no when i knew i should get it and when my TL started it i didnt know(that was a master stroke on the TL's part).
It all leaves such a bad taste....and may be a bad post.
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