Ok well things have gone as haywire and yet as fearfully expected.The fears come true so dont fear them hmmm is that what it is ….ahhhh whatever.
In There i used to be like the center of most happenings at work…and i said i am fed up being surrounded by same set and at center and moved in here……. a perfect novice ….appearing actually more quiet , unsocial, strange than i actually am(of course relativity is a factor everywhere).
I seem to be nowhere and noone. Well not bad for me cause i am not very fond of being at the center in general its always been the backstage and backbenches that interested me. Only problem is if you want the money out here they say get on stage… and play along…and well now actually it is the only issue .
Now i know all who knew me in there where i stayed due to my inertia problem would say why did you give it up all and go there to start from a scratch…see this is what would happen…as if i had not contemplated it. I sure foresaw it and still made the choice.
I dont like it here nor do they like me in here.Cool…but well i thought lets see how it goes but then on friday they gave me a good excuse to move me into somewhere still new…AArgh.
Firstly for 2 yrs i never moved and now in 2 weeks …2 new places for me….huh. Not that i mind yet….till i see what the workload is like.
But the greatest tragedy on my resume is this….i am in such dilemma …which shall i put on it for the interview.
Unlike others who are good at either A /B/C. I am just familiar with all A and B and C but expert in none coz never got to work real time full fledged on any more than 2 weeks basic ramp up. So should i go for an interview fo A /B /C. Or may be just play along with these put her here / there game.
Though i must say she put it elegantly….
“you see in the x proj there is a crunch need and they want some one commited(i.e stupid to stay stuck for two yrs in same place) and i was asked how are you i said she’s very good and all”
All this was said in 5 seconds like rapid fire so that shows how it was meant . I was too quiet for my new hyperactive and ever food loving lead. Added to it i continue to hang out with my old friends from my different project a floor away and hence not mingling greatly with the team…. “a team that eats together esp snacks stays together” is the theme .
I though essentially beleive its my fault…i did not go simply because the bunch was a group of lucky freshers …they got a great technical project while starting off so very glum and surprised anyone who’s not familiar with their technology is suddenly senior engineer.
More importantly too investigative kind….i mean i honestly don’t know how to fend off such people at work or rather people with whom you are supposed to get along with.
I am new here and need help getting around with what are called known issues in projects s o i need to get along with people who’ve been here long enough to know the known issues. Now i have this lovely girl…very smart and investigative out of college a year ago and here’s the blantant drill she gave me with her demanding and coyish smile.
She:Are you a ASE or a SE
Me:I am an SSE
She:Uhu …since when are you here…..Oh so what is your salary
Me:xxxx
She:Oh so when did you have you appraisal, how much did you join for
Me:xyz
She;Oh so You had experience in other company too before ..oh where was it,how may appraisals you had then.
Me:Er wait i have to finish this …will talk later
In 2 minutes flat she got info off me so blatantly…i mean normal circumstances no one could even have dared ask me such questions directly….but such is what happens when you are supposed to gel in a team .
Thus i am glad if i am looked upon as unsocial and quiet and one who leaves on time. Out here they love the office and works a great excuse…most of them leave together…what bonding.
Now all this is cool with me …if only if only…….. all this would not affect the only reason i work at this software hell….my paycheck. Heck it does and so i want a way out….which way is the problem as i mentioned above A/B/C.
Things seem bleak now though……i remind myself the way i am wired i dont remember liking any place since school itself when its new….and remember all good things 6 months later. Thats the only solace.
So very fed up kind of mood that even did not feel like shopping but just went along with sis taking leave early at office once i heard of my new confusions there and what ho i got tickets somehow just on a hunch for “honeymoon travels.” Well not a bad movie though there’s hardly any story its more like an introduction of all the couples…it was a nice concept if only they wanted to tell a story.
What anyway felt great was that we got the direct bus home instantly after the movie…no wait… and well what a releif that can be.
And then i laze around on weekend worrying about all stuff and end the weekend with this post staring into a very uncertain week ahead.
