Anxiety, Hope, Despair….over choices

Its again one of those times anxiety is like my top priority .Added to it i am not sure what to be happy about and what sad.
Finally I am moving from my project...well considering the hue and cry i make about it i should be happy but then..............
Two years of getting used to something(may be cribbing about it also became a habit) is hard to let go.Cant say i loved the work...i did not but yes sort of it started belonging to me ..the project over a period of time.

More anxiety ??????? what am i getting into ?????
How will the people be in the new project ????
Its difficult i felt when i got introduced into the new team...that floor is kinda sooo quiet...
staring into those monitors..... compared to our project floor where we actually love to speak either loud or in hushed up secretive tones.
Actually more than anything thats what the anxiety stems from. New technology and all may be like slowly but surely grasped have some inner confidence about that....but if people are not of the kind i am ok with then what.

So was it ok to give up on a whole set of privileges gained over time and open yourself up for appraising worthiness yet again ??????

Yet again you start from the scratch.....If you could be a little absolute business like its so simple to jump around from company to company ....but what if you can't afford/dare that.

Such simple issues yet so complex i make em........
I dont know i did feel bad...very upset probably about leaving a bunch of people so suddenly ...its just downstairs but yet its never the same sitting around in the same bay....or saying hi and all such once in a while.
I guess for all my talk i am eternally stupid...
i hate farewells and though i laugh em off....i really really hate em.
I did wish i had left the company itself but things sort of dont work as i plan ever and so many diversions...no one to blame but myself....in the end.

Don't know how it will be........heck i hate it...the way it was.....all come up and say hey congratulations..."uve got it"( its that hard to get out of our project to other projects...most ppl leave the company..the easier way).
I was feeling lost it was too sudden...i was asking for it since 3 months in a tone they finally perceived as a real threat and on Friday morning i was told ....ur off...go join there.
Its sort of unnerving.....

But i hate farewells...though they are my destiny...as soon as i get comfortable somewhere i suddenly (yeah its always sudden) have to move.

Just when i got used to my school dad got transferred.
Just when i got used to one hostel ...it was time to move.Just when i got used to my first job....
I resigned on a sudden note.Just when i and dear friends had enough time/money to have fun they get married/go to US.Just when i could sleepwalk through my work....

I am moving to a new project wherein i have to re-check my vision and get a new pair of glasses to finish off things.
It leaves such a sad feeling ...yeah yeah...youve to move on.
As they say you move on.I will...i always do....but as of today its that weighed down feeling.
Lovely poem was all i could think of

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood .........................

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

what kind of difference........lets see...it would be on this blog i guess.