General Musings
So much's been happening it seems in the world and well may be I to should start tweeting rather than posting long essays.
I had so much I was hoping to write and then just frittered it all in thought. I have been in one of my laziest phases.
This post is mostly unconnected parts of stuff I managed to remember
I actually was hoping to write about the book I was reading The Black Swan & Fooled by randomness , but its very contents reminded me of what I saw here there and what not. I will review it in a different post.
Essentially the book talks about the role of luck or rather what we call luck, uncertainity etc.
Now I have oscillating views on that.
So here was one forward of a speech by Harsha Bhogle someone I am quite a fan of since was a kid.
http://brijux.com/2009/09/12/harsha-bhogle-achievers-of-excellence-iim-ahmedabad/
Its quite long but real nice esp I would say one should listen to part 2 first and then if one wants go to part1.
Well anyways he nicely opens a discussion about luck (at 17:50 in part 2)- he recalls how Ganguly told him it was great luck VVS Laxmans innings at Kolkatta.
Harsha disagrees and says its all the coming together of preparedness opportunity etc and gives his own personal example of his admission in IIM. Enjoyed hearing it and all , but the skepticism was open esp as I never can decide if I believe in fate or not.
Now I went to the passport office next day - after all the confusion of many things I am told I need not only the latest bill as adresss proof but also a bill 1 year older and I was like Oh Gosh - I will have to go through all this again.
Nowhere I saw mentioned saying you need bills across a year. But then I remembered I had some old bill in my purse and voila !
I found a old 2009 bill and I managed to get my work done the same day.
So I recalled the interview - Now what do I call it - luck or preparedness - I never prepared for needing a 1.5 yr old bill.
But if I want to put it like this - I can always say -
I am a very organized person and see I keep stuff prepared.
So I wondered why is it that most people always talk of luck and fate on failure .
When success comes people go on about hard work and self belief and all stuff.
Its a open thing - we can wonder and debate about all the time to no end.
I dont like to believe in fate but then it kind of has always been my bane in more ways than I can describe which is why I am often kind of lost in thoughts when I hear such debates.
There is so much of Wikileaks around that one cant escape it. It strangely reminded me hugely of what I wrote reviewing Social Network.We want all our heroes to be angelic - Why cant we be open to the fact that things in world are almost always grey
and there is no such thing as an absolute truth.
Just because he's brave and takes on governments mean Assange has no prejudice against women. Just as just because accusers are women we need to take their word as the truth.
It seems real nice the leaking of truth about governments etc - but lets just say there was no confidential reports in governments -
all is in open - would that make it a better world. Wont conspiracies and prejudices flourish by word of mouth .
While US policies may have been fully flawed - it does not mean terrorism is purely a by product of that and the world was a beautiful place before we brought in governance.
Then we have the Indian version of it all - which is even more depressing. But while it seems so much of a rage on twitter and
blogosphere I wonder how many of us really would stand up and fight and how many has the system already defeated.
We really are the species Darwin talks of - the first instinct is self preservation.
P.S: It may seem strange but this by far has been one of the most exciting reads for me in recent times.
The whole thing is thrilling than most thrillers we read.
http://www.foxnews.com/scitech/2010/11/26/secret-agent-crippled-irans-nuclear-ambitions/
It seemed so appreciable and awesome really - the whole attention to detail - and then the scare sets in in the mind.
I seriously wondered about times - not a penny in reality but all of life's earnings in electronic form and my mom's old advice
- why oh why you dont buy gold - hmm!! she's already been vindicated partly with the gold prices
Then I wondered hmm but wont that make movies boring - like 007 replaced by Stuxnet
- and then I think - no Social network wasnt all that boring. Sure they'll figure a way out to talk out the code design in some dashing ways - he he !!
Friday, December 24, 2010
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Another rant - unfair unfair and what not
Ok after a long time one of those pure rant posts. I had lots of nonsensical reading I was hoping to post about all that
but you see nothing inspires you out of laziness than such as below
Had one of those world is unfair moments - I mean you know thats how things are in the world but still when it stares at your face you have those moments when only may be Calvin saves you
[/caption]
Accessed someone's resume when was left accessible.
Of course one expects resumes are pumped up and overblown version of work,but what I saw blew me away
This person happens to be the lowest contributor of our very small team of five which was well overblown to 9
but well designation is module lead, but thats acceptable in these cases
The contribution section was filled with past 3 years of my job description - tools on which she never worked or knows a line of
- added with the sheer confidence of a person who knows the opposite person also wont know that tool since its rare enough ,so one can always talk
- and of course extra fluff called motivating team members and what not
Yeah in a true blue interview not much of all this stands but it does two things
1. It spoils resume of people who truly worked on that stuff in general I feel - stupid may be but I feel it at times
2. how many true blue interviews happen really - esp if the lady's a smashing bong with a seniormost executive hubby
- how she got in here itself is sheer fate - my stupid lead engg at that time said " its ok we are not getting that skillset, we can always teach them" - thats a different matter he regretted it deeply withing few months - but well so what that chaps gone , but here she is .
Yeah guts to fake it - is also guts - and well appreciate it
She's a pretty fine person , with a very cute child and great circle of friends and well that simply adds to that thing nah
world is unfair - I know - I know so what - I can still rant - say its unfair
It takes time though to sink in - accepting the unfairness of it all and my stupidity in various other things.
I need to get some serious sleep to get over all such thoughts.
But essentially thats what I am doing since last 1 week after taking literally over a fortnight off
- a house arrested vacation.
Now that sure will make some one say
- hey its unfair - yeah it is - it surely is :)
Ok after a long time one of those pure rant posts. I had lots of nonsensical reading I was hoping to post about all that
but you see nothing inspires you out of laziness than such as below
Had one of those world is unfair moments - I mean you know thats how things are in the world but still when it stares at your face you have those moments when only may be Calvin saves you
[/caption]Accessed someone's resume when was left accessible.
Of course one expects resumes are pumped up and overblown version of work,but what I saw blew me away
This person happens to be the lowest contributor of our very small team of five which was well overblown to 9
but well designation is module lead, but thats acceptable in these cases
The contribution section was filled with past 3 years of my job description - tools on which she never worked or knows a line of
- added with the sheer confidence of a person who knows the opposite person also wont know that tool since its rare enough ,so one can always talk
- and of course extra fluff called motivating team members and what not
Yeah in a true blue interview not much of all this stands but it does two things
1. It spoils resume of people who truly worked on that stuff in general I feel - stupid may be but I feel it at times
2. how many true blue interviews happen really - esp if the lady's a smashing bong with a seniormost executive hubby
- how she got in here itself is sheer fate - my stupid lead engg at that time said " its ok we are not getting that skillset, we can always teach them" - thats a different matter he regretted it deeply withing few months - but well so what that chaps gone , but here she is .
Yeah guts to fake it - is also guts - and well appreciate it
She's a pretty fine person , with a very cute child and great circle of friends and well that simply adds to that thing nah
world is unfair - I know - I know so what - I can still rant - say its unfair
It takes time though to sink in - accepting the unfairness of it all and my stupidity in various other things.
I need to get some serious sleep to get over all such thoughts.
But essentially thats what I am doing since last 1 week after taking literally over a fortnight off
- a house arrested vacation.
Now that sure will make some one say
- hey its unfair - yeah it is - it surely is :)
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Watching and Musing about the Social Network
Watched Social network and quite liked it essentially because of the elements Scott Adams put up in his review here .
http://www.dilbert.com/blog/entry/the_social_network__review/
"I appreciate the movie for what it did not do. It did not rely on special effects in a way that was obvious to the viewer. It wasn't in 3D. There was no violence. There was no car chase scene. If you make a list of all the elements that can make a movie predictable and lame, this movie had none. That's at least partly because the story is inspired by reality."
For me that was real point . Something lacking all the common stuff for which people flock to a movie . I was kind of bugged up the Avatars and Inceptions dealing with what we don't understand or see - and refusing to face up to what faces us - our own human social awkwardness and insecurities in the existing realm.
Though more than the movie I essentially thought a lot about the real facebook in general.
The ending scene seriously is the real poignant picture. Humanity invariably is like that after all the Darwin , Freud and Einstein and
relegion stuff when people are obsessed well they are obsessed. Money is a great substitute - a great painkiller it just wont heal the wounds .
The movie does reflect greatly on how someone hugely socially awkward built the worlds biggest social networking.
It actually makes you feel like he thinks even more worse of the general populace who fall for it and is kind of smirking.
and if you read about these old IM's of Zuckerberg well he surely was !!.
Secondly as much as we want to believe the world's most successful people are wonderful humans - fact is they necessarily dont have to be the nicest and good people.
Its not just Zuckerberg - as much as we love Apple products and find steve jobs inspiring - fact is the guy's damn arrogant.
But yeah he's got enough reasons to be :) and its hard to envision many in that position who wouldnt be.
Getting back to social networking - I was just musing how there could be two kinds of populace
- one who are truer on facebook than in reality i.e they express themseleves and their thoughts easier there
and other who build up exactly the facade they want to be but never will be.
The most miniscule percentage would be the people who are exactly the same on and out of Facebook
(as a matter of fact anything online - I certainly consider myself in the first set in a general way as I blog anonymously).
But yeah facebook differs or hoped to differ from other online stuff in the sense that its about people you know even if not friends.
Though seriously its not even that.I read about this facebook scam and was like hmm .
The movie reminded me of so many things in general.
I have a friend who just wont join facebook and deleted her orkut account too.
She's had a rough time in life and she says she gets upset by the constant advertising by people of their family and kids and that
happiness facade or truth or whatever.Thats one side - and I think its just a personal reaction but happens with a reason.
Then I see some comments .
I have two friends - both have very cute kids.and I left comments on their cute kids.
What amused me though was this - these two remotely know each other - and yet -
one friend then left a comment about how wonderful and cute and smart the kid was looking
the other then reciprocates - ur princess too is very sweet.
This is exactly the loving diplomacy , backslapping and false affection reminds of that song
"tum hume good kaho - hum tumhe very good kahenge"
It is not that the kids are not cute its just the fakeness - (though to be honest even if they werent they - children are supposed to be said to be cute.Any other word and you are heartless.)
Neverthless we are now in the facebook generation and I wont be cruel and say all of it is fake as Ive seen a lot of people being
really in touch with a whole bunch - the people you would lose touch with but for facebook.
Its the same old 80-20 pareto rule I guess.
80% of the time we care about a maximum of 20% of the facebook contacts/features .
P.S:My last thought on this was if I do live through for a decade or so more - I will be reading the autobiographies of all these people about whom right no so called inspired biographies are made - and what new twists they will throw up.
Watched Social network and quite liked it essentially because of the elements Scott Adams put up in his review here .
http://www.dilbert.com/blog/entry/the_social_network__review/
"I appreciate the movie for what it did not do. It did not rely on special effects in a way that was obvious to the viewer. It wasn't in 3D. There was no violence. There was no car chase scene. If you make a list of all the elements that can make a movie predictable and lame, this movie had none. That's at least partly because the story is inspired by reality."
For me that was real point . Something lacking all the common stuff for which people flock to a movie . I was kind of bugged up the Avatars and Inceptions dealing with what we don't understand or see - and refusing to face up to what faces us - our own human social awkwardness and insecurities in the existing realm.
Though more than the movie I essentially thought a lot about the real facebook in general.
The ending scene seriously is the real poignant picture. Humanity invariably is like that after all the Darwin , Freud and Einstein and
relegion stuff when people are obsessed well they are obsessed. Money is a great substitute - a great painkiller it just wont heal the wounds .
The movie does reflect greatly on how someone hugely socially awkward built the worlds biggest social networking.
It actually makes you feel like he thinks even more worse of the general populace who fall for it and is kind of smirking.
and if you read about these old IM's of Zuckerberg well he surely was !!.
Secondly as much as we want to believe the world's most successful people are wonderful humans - fact is they necessarily dont have to be the nicest and good people.
Its not just Zuckerberg - as much as we love Apple products and find steve jobs inspiring - fact is the guy's damn arrogant.
But yeah he's got enough reasons to be :) and its hard to envision many in that position who wouldnt be.
Getting back to social networking - I was just musing how there could be two kinds of populace
- one who are truer on facebook than in reality i.e they express themseleves and their thoughts easier there
and other who build up exactly the facade they want to be but never will be.
The most miniscule percentage would be the people who are exactly the same on and out of Facebook
(as a matter of fact anything online - I certainly consider myself in the first set in a general way as I blog anonymously).
But yeah facebook differs or hoped to differ from other online stuff in the sense that its about people you know even if not friends.
Though seriously its not even that.I read about this facebook scam and was like hmm .
The movie reminded me of so many things in general.
I have a friend who just wont join facebook and deleted her orkut account too.
She's had a rough time in life and she says she gets upset by the constant advertising by people of their family and kids and that
happiness facade or truth or whatever.Thats one side - and I think its just a personal reaction but happens with a reason.
Then I see some comments .
I have two friends - both have very cute kids.and I left comments on their cute kids.
What amused me though was this - these two remotely know each other - and yet -
one friend then left a comment about how wonderful and cute and smart the kid was looking
the other then reciprocates - ur princess too is very sweet.
This is exactly the loving diplomacy , backslapping and false affection reminds of that song
"tum hume good kaho - hum tumhe very good kahenge"
It is not that the kids are not cute its just the fakeness - (though to be honest even if they werent they - children are supposed to be said to be cute.Any other word and you are heartless.)
Neverthless we are now in the facebook generation and I wont be cruel and say all of it is fake as Ive seen a lot of people being
really in touch with a whole bunch - the people you would lose touch with but for facebook.
Its the same old 80-20 pareto rule I guess.
80% of the time we care about a maximum of 20% of the facebook contacts/features .
P.S:My last thought on this was if I do live through for a decade or so more - I will be reading the autobiographies of all these people about whom right no so called inspired biographies are made - and what new twists they will throw up.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
A Welcome break for thoughts
After a very long boring year or so I finally took a quick long weekend break.
I am not too social as it is and my current job - where we dont have much of a team really being scattered as it is -
so no outings, lunches etc - the usual corporate hoopla and thus for a very long time my only outing was to the shopping mall.
So this was was a very very unplanned trip. Some girls at my office had a planned outing with some other of their friends and a common friend suggested to join them.So I and my sister were virtual outsiders in that group and then other girls too joined and it was one tortourously packed cab we were in .
So prior to my usual rant - few lines about this quick trip to Coorg - it had its moments.
That moment atop Talacauvery temple and at Raja's seat at Madikeri to get a view of the mountains with fog and clouds.
Then the walk to the Abbey falls in rain - it was a beautiful waterfall - but for me the euphoric thing was unlike quite a few girls I did
not get any leeches onto me. Seriously since the time I heard of Coorg - I who have a perenial scare of all crawling stuff was quite
worried.
Finally we hurried off most places to get to Nagarhole - but it was one big dissapointment. When the safari van chap
does not close the doors you know nothing wild's around in the forest.
Nothing really - just deer deer and more deer and as they say so many deer means no tigers.
Not sure if we were unlucky not to spot any or its a nice coverup as many Indian things are.
But what I remember of that ride in nagarhole was the fresh and fragrant smell of forest . It was very very nice.
When you came out you could tell the difference.
In fact with the group of excited young women that I was with paddy fields on the way seemed to be
most entertaining with everyone posing their photographs.
All in all it was a welcome break for me - It was a experience though despite the travel discomfort of being packed up in a cab.
But I needed it to tear myself away from my laptop. It just isnt work - I sort of seem to be stuck with it - to avoid thinking .
So firstly the whole group was the very young brigade - hyper excited , jovial - the just out of girls college syndrome.
I was quite apprehensive on this count .
Also I sometimes I feel its better for me to maintain some personal distance with people at office.
The below incident explains why
Vibrant vivacious and very sweet this girl who sits two cubicles from me and I are in same room with my sister.
It starts such
You got the hike ? How less they give :( but at least you got. You must be a rich girl.
Me: Try to play along - Yeah Yeah you are as rich as you feel
She: OOOO and my sis tooo joins in with ooooooooo
What I wanted to say: kiddo when i was your age I did not have a penny in hand - money is bloody important -
but what for the money is also as important - as is being peaceful at least ,if not happy with your surroundings.
She: How much experience you have XXX - Oh really I did not know that.
Then why are you here - you should jump and get such a good hike
Me: But well I am used to the good life here and work too is not bad and I have my perks of not being answerable theoretically half the time to anyone really - I have my issues but where are there no issues.
See in other jobs I'd never have been able to take this holiday as easily - though Id been abale to afford a expensive one
- so for me things balance out
She: But see this is the age to work work and earn. later we cant esp after marriage etc etc.
I cant afford anything with what they pay - have to buy a car.
What I wanted to say: My dear I am already at a age where I am tired - (then I would have rethought - really -
at what age did you not have the inertia disease.)
Seriously when such sweet young people offer advice so overwhelmingly confidently I can only remember one quote -
esp as since a decade -I think of myself as old
" I am not young enough to know everything"
She: This place has so much politics, this that and about her manager , other managers
Me: Have you worked anywhere else prior to here
I finally say what I wanted to say - I have worked a a few more places so let me tell you ,
while all you say may be true - wherever you go dont expect any different - just that they will pay you more which is good surely.
Its always been nice to work with young people their enthusiasm and all , but somehow there is a sense of discomfort.
Because they haven't seen the other part of life. for e.g these I wish they would have a look at their juniors from 2009 who had seen their dreams crashing. What you get easy - one never values is what Ive seen and learnt from them.
As I said its the exuberance of youth - and as much as I like to watch it from a distance - getting cozy with them
raises such uncomfortable situations to which I have the answers but not the heart to slam it onto their faces.
P.S: Seriously I have my extravagant tastes - books for one or lil diamonds for another - , but why do people including my sister have a problem if that isnt buying a car or splurging on restaurants and dresses at sales of their choice.
I dont condemn their tastes - but whenever I end up in company of such people they have this way of making me feel like I am a miser.
I am surely compared to them - but thats how I am and have no qualms about it.
My sisters an expert at these esp with her interpretation of "The Ant and the Grasshopper" Aesop fable.
Most version I checked on google - specify that ants turn their backs on the grasshopper - and then the moral of the story is displayed about " there is a time for work and time for play"
Buy my dear sister and me in our childhood must have read a kinder version wherein the ants after giving a long moral of the story
ask the grasshopper to join in - in return for singing for them.
So here's the moral of the story she picks up -
After all the grashopper said sorry and it was just a short repreive and all Grasshopper does is sing along
doing what it loves and lives happily.
In a way she's damned right and probably the world is skewed that way.
Grasshoppers always find ants who sustain them.
After a very long boring year or so I finally took a quick long weekend break.
I am not too social as it is and my current job - where we dont have much of a team really being scattered as it is -
so no outings, lunches etc - the usual corporate hoopla and thus for a very long time my only outing was to the shopping mall.
So this was was a very very unplanned trip. Some girls at my office had a planned outing with some other of their friends and a common friend suggested to join them.So I and my sister were virtual outsiders in that group and then other girls too joined and it was one tortourously packed cab we were in .
So prior to my usual rant - few lines about this quick trip to Coorg - it had its moments.
That moment atop Talacauvery temple and at Raja's seat at Madikeri to get a view of the mountains with fog and clouds.
Then the walk to the Abbey falls in rain - it was a beautiful waterfall - but for me the euphoric thing was unlike quite a few girls I did
not get any leeches onto me. Seriously since the time I heard of Coorg - I who have a perenial scare of all crawling stuff was quite
worried.
Finally we hurried off most places to get to Nagarhole - but it was one big dissapointment. When the safari van chap
does not close the doors you know nothing wild's around in the forest.
Nothing really - just deer deer and more deer and as they say so many deer means no tigers.
Not sure if we were unlucky not to spot any or its a nice coverup as many Indian things are.
But what I remember of that ride in nagarhole was the fresh and fragrant smell of forest . It was very very nice.
When you came out you could tell the difference.
In fact with the group of excited young women that I was with paddy fields on the way seemed to be
most entertaining with everyone posing their photographs.
All in all it was a welcome break for me - It was a experience though despite the travel discomfort of being packed up in a cab.
But I needed it to tear myself away from my laptop. It just isnt work - I sort of seem to be stuck with it - to avoid thinking .
So firstly the whole group was the very young brigade - hyper excited , jovial - the just out of girls college syndrome.
I was quite apprehensive on this count .
Also I sometimes I feel its better for me to maintain some personal distance with people at office.
The below incident explains why
Vibrant vivacious and very sweet this girl who sits two cubicles from me and I are in same room with my sister.
It starts such
You got the hike ? How less they give :( but at least you got. You must be a rich girl.
Me: Try to play along - Yeah Yeah you are as rich as you feel
She: OOOO and my sis tooo joins in with ooooooooo
What I wanted to say: kiddo when i was your age I did not have a penny in hand - money is bloody important -
but what for the money is also as important - as is being peaceful at least ,if not happy with your surroundings.
She: How much experience you have XXX - Oh really I did not know that.
Then why are you here - you should jump and get such a good hike
Me: But well I am used to the good life here and work too is not bad and I have my perks of not being answerable theoretically half the time to anyone really - I have my issues but where are there no issues.
See in other jobs I'd never have been able to take this holiday as easily - though Id been abale to afford a expensive one
- so for me things balance out
She: But see this is the age to work work and earn. later we cant esp after marriage etc etc.
I cant afford anything with what they pay - have to buy a car.
What I wanted to say: My dear I am already at a age where I am tired - (then I would have rethought - really -
at what age did you not have the inertia disease.)
Seriously when such sweet young people offer advice so overwhelmingly confidently I can only remember one quote -
esp as since a decade -I think of myself as old
" I am not young enough to know everything"
She: This place has so much politics, this that and about her manager , other managers
Me: Have you worked anywhere else prior to here
I finally say what I wanted to say - I have worked a a few more places so let me tell you ,
while all you say may be true - wherever you go dont expect any different - just that they will pay you more which is good surely.
Its always been nice to work with young people their enthusiasm and all , but somehow there is a sense of discomfort.
Because they haven't seen the other part of life. for e.g these I wish they would have a look at their juniors from 2009 who had seen their dreams crashing. What you get easy - one never values is what Ive seen and learnt from them.
As I said its the exuberance of youth - and as much as I like to watch it from a distance - getting cozy with them
raises such uncomfortable situations to which I have the answers but not the heart to slam it onto their faces.
P.S: Seriously I have my extravagant tastes - books for one or lil diamonds for another - , but why do people including my sister have a problem if that isnt buying a car or splurging on restaurants and dresses at sales of their choice.
I dont condemn their tastes - but whenever I end up in company of such people they have this way of making me feel like I am a miser.
I am surely compared to them - but thats how I am and have no qualms about it.
My sisters an expert at these esp with her interpretation of "The Ant and the Grasshopper" Aesop fable.
Most version I checked on google - specify that ants turn their backs on the grasshopper - and then the moral of the story is displayed about " there is a time for work and time for play"
Buy my dear sister and me in our childhood must have read a kinder version wherein the ants after giving a long moral of the story
ask the grasshopper to join in - in return for singing for them.
So here's the moral of the story she picks up -
After all the grashopper said sorry and it was just a short repreive and all Grasshopper does is sing along
doing what it loves and lives happily.
In a way she's damned right and probably the world is skewed that way.
Grasshoppers always find ants who sustain them.
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Quite Robotic !!
To state it simply it was a hugely underwhelming experience.
The hype , the praise surrounding Robot - I was prepared to be slightly dissapointed but really to be bored in a Rajni movie
- not expected and yet for most part I was bored.
It just meanders on , it tries to touch on high brow issues here and there no doubt about science and humans
and social effects but really just a scratch on surface.
For most part it just streches on. One movie whose success is beyond me.
As for Aishwarya she is so perfect for Robot.Such a beautiful Robotess??
In that song where in a scene multiple clones of Aishwarya came on screen I just thought what the heck is the movie all about.
If chitti likes Sana then the scientist shouldve made another Robot for Chitti just like Sana and let the matter rest.
Or the Robot who cloned himself all over shouldve made one like Sana who really likes him and program non cheating (but bugs will exist in code as always!!)
I do not dislike it - Its just boring. In fact of all mass heroes Rajnikanth is the most entertaining with whatever his patented stylishness is and yet this so boring a movie.
Crazy fans I understand - but even for them there is not a single rajni punch line or anything for mass hysteria seriously.
Oh Yeah technical brilliance appreciation is deserved - yeah for folks who never watched beyond Indian movies yes brilliant
- but anyone who saw other stuff wont find this mind blowing.
Yes this cost less was done at on etenth the price of Hollywood - so the director and technicians did a feat ,
admirable take nothing away from them - but the movie was enjoyable - how ??
The technical appreciation for an admirable work by an Indian while completely deserved , me being cruel thinking
reminded me of lalit Bhanot's amazing comment during CWG. "Our standards are different than yours"
The movie lacked heart or emotional touch somehow for me - and since I am not a great technical effects fan I guess thats the core issue.Even in movies like Matrix I loved the subtext the emotional conflicts and the whole discussion etc rather than the high quality stunts and whatever.
But technical eye feast if thats to be talked of not in strict technical terms - of the few movies I've seen I just
have to say "Lord of the Rings" - I just love the whole setting and the extravagant setup.
There's a joy in every character human or robotic .
I was terrified and disliked the Gollum creature hugely - but saw a forum where a lady foun him cute - Hmmm.
P.S: Since the post was about a underwhelming experience I will just post a unrelated link from CWG which was a overwhelming experience.I am no athletics fan nor ever watch it but was led to it by a link and was wowed by it.Girls with no support whasoever and such odds and the video seems just like a thriller in a movie.
To state it simply it was a hugely underwhelming experience.
The hype , the praise surrounding Robot - I was prepared to be slightly dissapointed but really to be bored in a Rajni movie
- not expected and yet for most part I was bored.
It just meanders on , it tries to touch on high brow issues here and there no doubt about science and humans
and social effects but really just a scratch on surface.
For most part it just streches on. One movie whose success is beyond me.
As for Aishwarya she is so perfect for Robot.Such a beautiful Robotess??
In that song where in a scene multiple clones of Aishwarya came on screen I just thought what the heck is the movie all about.
If chitti likes Sana then the scientist shouldve made another Robot for Chitti just like Sana and let the matter rest.
Or the Robot who cloned himself all over shouldve made one like Sana who really likes him and program non cheating (but bugs will exist in code as always!!)
I do not dislike it - Its just boring. In fact of all mass heroes Rajnikanth is the most entertaining with whatever his patented stylishness is and yet this so boring a movie.
Crazy fans I understand - but even for them there is not a single rajni punch line or anything for mass hysteria seriously.
Oh Yeah technical brilliance appreciation is deserved - yeah for folks who never watched beyond Indian movies yes brilliant
- but anyone who saw other stuff wont find this mind blowing.
Yes this cost less was done at on etenth the price of Hollywood - so the director and technicians did a feat ,
admirable take nothing away from them - but the movie was enjoyable - how ??
The technical appreciation for an admirable work by an Indian while completely deserved , me being cruel thinking
reminded me of lalit Bhanot's amazing comment during CWG. "Our standards are different than yours"
The movie lacked heart or emotional touch somehow for me - and since I am not a great technical effects fan I guess thats the core issue.Even in movies like Matrix I loved the subtext the emotional conflicts and the whole discussion etc rather than the high quality stunts and whatever.
But technical eye feast if thats to be talked of not in strict technical terms - of the few movies I've seen I just
have to say "Lord of the Rings" - I just love the whole setting and the extravagant setup.
There's a joy in every character human or robotic .
I was terrified and disliked the Gollum creature hugely - but saw a forum where a lady foun him cute - Hmmm.
P.S: Since the post was about a underwhelming experience I will just post a unrelated link from CWG which was a overwhelming experience.I am no athletics fan nor ever watch it but was led to it by a link and was wowed by it.Girls with no support whasoever and such odds and the video seems just like a thriller in a movie.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Confused by Inception .... Chill with Dabangg
Recently I watched two movies and diverse as they are they are and little that I have to say - its best to club them in one post.
First is the film thats been well ooh ahed' internationally as a great movie Inception.
It is a exceptionally well made film but really I have a feeling it kind of made itself exceptional by being deliberately complex.
I wouldnt pretend to be ultra smart and say I got the movie as it unfolded. I didnt -
I went back and forth and checked out the stuff on net to get the complete hang of it.
The point is the premise of the movie is hardly complex - at least not to us the eastern exotic people
- who kind of have a philosophy for all paranormal stuff in some way.
I mean dont we have stories of people travelling in dreams - being granted wishes and what not.We just take them for granted.
What I am trying to say is strip the movie of its great special effects etc and the complex structural screenplay it has
- whats left is a very empty thing - a very plain discussion/article about dreams - it does not even have a clear story as per se.
And yet with such a subject the director made a movie of over 2 hrs and compelled us to watch it which is where the movie scores surely.Its a great discussion which has been filmed - its like someone puts their random thoughts in some structure and films them.
Though not comparable in any realm or any relation at all- sometime back watched Duplicity
- a story of plain corporate espionage common fare -
and was reminded of it just like that.
What I just wonder about is leave Indians - as in them a very small set will watch it in percentage terms and review it hugely like I am doing -but in the US if the special effects and action stuff was out
- how many average Americans would've enjoyed watching it ?
Yeah its almost a cult on the internet but ...we do have a world beyond the net still.
Actually how may would have understood it for what the movie was all about.
If its a philosophical discussion for the elite audience - a book will be far more satisfying but when its a cinematic extravaganza I feel it helps if it was not so deliberately confusing .
But all this is not to say it wasnt enjoyable. It most certainly was
but no I was not hugely overwhelmed - just admired the director hugely for being so adventurous.
But if philosophical discussions in movies are what one enjoys 'Waking life' is one movie one must see.
You can just think and ponder and all that with animated characters which definitely reduce the prejudices we have when we see real people on screen.
So after subjecting my mind to such high stress of understanding Inception - it deserved the break called Dabangg.
The one thing these days is filmmakers now are clear about which end of the spectrum of populace the movie is targetted for
and any overlap helps in collections.
Not a fan of Salman , but after a long long time liked him in a movie.
He does not overact just for the sake of it - does it when it helps.
Movie can be summed up in one word - relax and enjoy and forget.
It could have been made much crass , but I liked the restraint shown in that sense mainly ,
that and the compactness of it,i.e nothing is streched - neither the love , nor the hatred .
Again as a story its a shell bollywood foundations are built on - absolutely nothing to add
frankly its the kind rajnikanth does down south almost very 2 years and yet Salman sort of rises up to it.
You just can't imagine the charming Sharukh or high brow Mr perfection Aamir there.
Even the music is nothing awesome - yeah it is fine and is a hit but by end of 2011 it will be hardly memorable.
And yet the realm of the spectrum this movie captures is much higher - for what purpose you could say
- well nothing - just entertainment business .
P.S: twitter is source of much fun as usual - I have many teammates complaining of slow VM's at my workplace and then I saw this tweet twitter.com/myzt/status/21301896997
The main idea of "Inception": if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very slow
What would this world be if people did not have such wonderful sense of humorous simplications . We'd all be stuck in some limbo.
Recently I watched two movies and diverse as they are they are and little that I have to say - its best to club them in one post.
First is the film thats been well ooh ahed' internationally as a great movie Inception.
It is a exceptionally well made film but really I have a feeling it kind of made itself exceptional by being deliberately complex.
I wouldnt pretend to be ultra smart and say I got the movie as it unfolded. I didnt -
I went back and forth and checked out the stuff on net to get the complete hang of it.
The point is the premise of the movie is hardly complex - at least not to us the eastern exotic people
- who kind of have a philosophy for all paranormal stuff in some way.
I mean dont we have stories of people travelling in dreams - being granted wishes and what not.We just take them for granted.
What I am trying to say is strip the movie of its great special effects etc and the complex structural screenplay it has
- whats left is a very empty thing - a very plain discussion/article about dreams - it does not even have a clear story as per se.
And yet with such a subject the director made a movie of over 2 hrs and compelled us to watch it which is where the movie scores surely.Its a great discussion which has been filmed - its like someone puts their random thoughts in some structure and films them.
Though not comparable in any realm or any relation at all- sometime back watched Duplicity
- a story of plain corporate espionage common fare -
and was reminded of it just like that.
What I just wonder about is leave Indians - as in them a very small set will watch it in percentage terms and review it hugely like I am doing -but in the US if the special effects and action stuff was out
- how many average Americans would've enjoyed watching it ?
Yeah its almost a cult on the internet but ...we do have a world beyond the net still.
Actually how may would have understood it for what the movie was all about.
If its a philosophical discussion for the elite audience - a book will be far more satisfying but when its a cinematic extravaganza I feel it helps if it was not so deliberately confusing .
But all this is not to say it wasnt enjoyable. It most certainly was
but no I was not hugely overwhelmed - just admired the director hugely for being so adventurous.
But if philosophical discussions in movies are what one enjoys 'Waking life' is one movie one must see.
You can just think and ponder and all that with animated characters which definitely reduce the prejudices we have when we see real people on screen.
So after subjecting my mind to such high stress of understanding Inception - it deserved the break called Dabangg.
The one thing these days is filmmakers now are clear about which end of the spectrum of populace the movie is targetted for
and any overlap helps in collections.
Not a fan of Salman , but after a long long time liked him in a movie.
He does not overact just for the sake of it - does it when it helps.
Movie can be summed up in one word - relax and enjoy and forget.
It could have been made much crass , but I liked the restraint shown in that sense mainly ,
that and the compactness of it,i.e nothing is streched - neither the love , nor the hatred .
Again as a story its a shell bollywood foundations are built on - absolutely nothing to add
frankly its the kind rajnikanth does down south almost very 2 years and yet Salman sort of rises up to it.
You just can't imagine the charming Sharukh or high brow Mr perfection Aamir there.
Even the music is nothing awesome - yeah it is fine and is a hit but by end of 2011 it will be hardly memorable.
And yet the realm of the spectrum this movie captures is much higher - for what purpose you could say
- well nothing - just entertainment business .
P.S: twitter is source of much fun as usual - I have many teammates complaining of slow VM's at my workplace and then I saw this tweet twitter.com/myzt/status/21301896997
The main idea of "Inception": if you run a VM inside a VM inside a VM inside a VM, everything will be very slow
What would this world be if people did not have such wonderful sense of humorous simplications . We'd all be stuck in some limbo.
Wednesday, September 08, 2010
Peepli Live: quick note
Watched Peepli Live.
One of the best rural portrayals - in the sense of not going overboard really.
I know I keep repeating it in pretty much every review but it gets to me the
way our villages are portrayed, either as too sad - usually art movie types, or too innocent.
The language too was kept rustic without getting too dirty.
I loved the potrayal of the old mother and the daughter in law. Trust me Ive seen almost similar interactions
which is exactly why the loving village folk scare me as much.
Only thing I would say on Peepli Live is had this not been promoted by Aamir how many of us
really would have watched it , however good it might have been.
As far as the media portrayal I it was quite decent, the real ones we get on TV are actually worse.
While we a small section ,use all this for fun, I tremendously enjoy the enormous jokes on our news anchors on twitterstream
What worries me hugely is that we have a huge set of people who believe TV and are vehement about - whatever is shown on TV.
For e.g There was a time when the old wisdom was really kind old wisdom - right or wrong it was information passed down generations.
Now what we hear on TV is wisdom .I realised this with my mother being so dependent on it for her (tips)nuskas on health etc these days that she's almost forgotten her original know how I somehow felt.
Watched Peepli Live.
One of the best rural portrayals - in the sense of not going overboard really.
I know I keep repeating it in pretty much every review but it gets to me the
way our villages are portrayed, either as too sad - usually art movie types, or too innocent.
The language too was kept rustic without getting too dirty.
I loved the potrayal of the old mother and the daughter in law. Trust me Ive seen almost similar interactions
which is exactly why the loving village folk scare me as much.
Only thing I would say on Peepli Live is had this not been promoted by Aamir how many of us
really would have watched it , however good it might have been.
As far as the media portrayal I it was quite decent, the real ones we get on TV are actually worse.
While we a small section ,use all this for fun, I tremendously enjoy the enormous jokes on our news anchors on twitterstream
What worries me hugely is that we have a huge set of people who believe TV and are vehement about - whatever is shown on TV.
For e.g There was a time when the old wisdom was really kind old wisdom - right or wrong it was information passed down generations.
Now what we hear on TV is wisdom .I realised this with my mother being so dependent on it for her (tips)nuskas on health etc these days that she's almost forgotten her original know how I somehow felt.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
first err in haste and then rant in blogposts
Its one of the hardest things to do - to accept that mistakes inevitably happen ,
whether due to luck or pressure ,rush or whatever.
Unlike others who find it hard owning up to one I very easily can own up when I see one ,
but to accept it to myself that I overlooked something , it is very hard.
I try , but its hard till I manage to get some sleep over it.
Its till I do that well enough , I find it tortures me .
And then when people tell you , its ok its ok - its hard not to try to
figure out who says that as a smirk and who means it genuinely.
This was a week I felt after a long time felt that whole elements were simply against me.
It felt like a huge conspirarcy of fate , nature and what not and I slipped up .
Murphy's law took its course and everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
I just hope it ends here and does not carry through to the next month.
reminded me of a sysadmin to whom once I said after our whole servers crashed
" Oh that VM is fine , well then the worst is behind us"
To which I was replied
"Never say that --, The worst is never behind us,
it is always ahead of us , waiting for us to slip up and then catch us " or something like that
Even on messenger it seemed ominous then.
In hindsight , such errors keep you grounded , may be .
Trying to look at the bright part of it.
I erred , when many believed in me.So yeah they will cross check now but
had I committed something similar before that belief set in ,
I guess like some others I would have been typecasted too.
But neverthless right now I typecast myself as a hopeless freak and nervous wreck who mulls over
things like a wrong version install to write rant posts like this.
P.S: The movie "I hate love stories" may be just one more has been movie for me, - I watched it on CD so offhandedly and with not much time spent on TV I never listened to the songs actually.
And then I listen to the Sadka song from it while shopping at a mall for nearly an hour , it kind of grew on me as I was there and now its been looping for the last two weeks on my media player. Love the song.
Its one of the hardest things to do - to accept that mistakes inevitably happen ,
whether due to luck or pressure ,rush or whatever.
Unlike others who find it hard owning up to one I very easily can own up when I see one ,
but to accept it to myself that I overlooked something , it is very hard.
I try , but its hard till I manage to get some sleep over it.
Its till I do that well enough , I find it tortures me .
And then when people tell you , its ok its ok - its hard not to try to
figure out who says that as a smirk and who means it genuinely.
This was a week I felt after a long time felt that whole elements were simply against me.
It felt like a huge conspirarcy of fate , nature and what not and I slipped up .
Murphy's law took its course and everything that could go wrong did go wrong.
I just hope it ends here and does not carry through to the next month.
reminded me of a sysadmin to whom once I said after our whole servers crashed
" Oh that VM is fine , well then the worst is behind us"
To which I was replied
"Never say that --, The worst is never behind us,
it is always ahead of us , waiting for us to slip up and then catch us " or something like that
Even on messenger it seemed ominous then.
In hindsight , such errors keep you grounded , may be .
Trying to look at the bright part of it.
I erred , when many believed in me.So yeah they will cross check now but
had I committed something similar before that belief set in ,
I guess like some others I would have been typecasted too.
But neverthless right now I typecast myself as a hopeless freak and nervous wreck who mulls over
things like a wrong version install to write rant posts like this.
P.S: The movie "I hate love stories" may be just one more has been movie for me, - I watched it on CD so offhandedly and with not much time spent on TV I never listened to the songs actually.
And then I listen to the Sadka song from it while shopping at a mall for nearly an hour , it kind of grew on me as I was there and now its been looping for the last two weeks on my media player. Love the song.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Random Rambles
This should actually be a seperate post. RGV deserves that but I am too lost in my worries (I add my saga to the end),and he put across a opinion which sort of merged into my thoughts I mix it up here.
Ram Gopal varma - have known quite a few fanatics of his. Have seen some of his movies which are too good and some too hilarious.
Seriously Thank god I watched Daud in TV. In theater I dont know how I could have managed.
The music of Dauuuuud... itself felt so hilarious.
But this isnt about his movies really. I did not like him much as a person as his visions seem like he's still stuck in some crazy
curiosity associated with teenage boys - his potrayal of his leading ladies/his horror fixation.
But I dont know waiting at which place I flipped through which magazine/news wherein I read a interview of his where he said something like this
" If I need to think why would I go to a woman. I would open a book"
Now its not a comment that makes any woman happy , but the guy I thought was being quite honest and I admired that then and that thought stayed with me . Till I saw this tweet by him and again thought.
Well all said and done he just put honestly a very uncomfortable truth.
"The biggest lie is that hard work pays nd ths is mainly propogated by smart non workers who live off the stupid hard workers"
The thought and some other stuff and my life's bad twists got me started off on reading "fooled by randomness".
The goings slow but will post on that later.
So well its been terrible time .Its like something which was nothing has snowballed into horrid stuff.
Its actually not as horrible if only , if only I could develop that Take It easy policy.Its a hard hard bargain.Easy to say but tough to live upto .But some of the most idiotic people have that attitude and thats what carries them through.
Actually all managers Ive seen who really want to see you move up gave one simple advice - dont worry about people's grumbles and mumbles .
I find it unlike others easier to implement it in life - but hard when it relates to work.
I once had a flare up with a team member regarding some work assigned and he mumbled something I got into the - lets clear this up mode and my manager calls me up and explains - come on its ok just ignore.
Similarly a friend who was sort of upset about being labelled too aggressive by a set of people who did not like being questioned
about timelines (esp by a lady)spoke to her senior manager who just smiled and re-iterated the same advice.
Ignore it - its part of the job.
(Heard of someone who happen to know by grapevine as a very bindaas - "I wont work" kind of cool person and
he got into IT's most hallowed places.You could see the pain it causes to the people
who really passionately go about work. But well as they say high up there what you need is a bindaas take it easy person.
You cant go crazy everytime something crashes. But yeah that news sort of made me feel think a trifle
less of the only company I ever admired(I am not a great fan of big organizations , though been with few and still am).
I always thought - oh what could I do there - (its for the hot shot developers and ultra smart genius game changers and what not - but well times change or our perspectives change)
Now this is all very nice if you have the support - but its a bit hard to take when you are on your own.
Added to that many women simply are worriers - I admit that and give up , we worry way too much.I know it yet its hard to change. Also you think you are cool and over most stuff by now and still at the crunch you just have that pent up emotion.
I have like a soap opera in my head running continuosly - if this is said , this is to be answered . If that then this and what not.
I am never a self help book person - I actually feel beyond help to speak the truth.
but one book I had once bookmarked to check someday was "Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life"
My greatest problem despite all the wonderful advice I have read and know is still the same.
You see a email, you are infuriated , reply reply now.
Forget fury - In any case I have a terrible habit with email - I need to reply and be done with them.
No other way I seem to be at peace.
A huge disadvantage well wishers have advised.
The best successful people are those who as the quote says.
"I love work. I can stare at it for hours"
So I spoiled a whole day in fury , being upset and what not and ringing up people up north and down south to
get a handle on my nerves and stop behaving like the idiot that I inherently seem to be.
I mean what are you supposed to answer when someone arrogantly (OK I exaggerate that chilling calm voice is what I take as arrogance)states as a benefit of working in this place for over 2 years
"Where did you work previously (i.e its some small mid sized place)- here youve worked on blah blah - a big blah"
And I react
" Oh yeah So what ?? the next blah product you ask me to look at - well the manager there will also say
- I gave you the big chance on this blah , Did you ever work on this kind of blah"
I forgot - I forgot big time - that managers are also human beings
and human beings have egos
and a human being who happens to be a manager and Indian usually tends to have a big big ego.
Add to it the calm ones who are polished and nurse the hurts like a wound which does not augur well for little people like me.
And then just when I was trying to soothe myself from all the woes being visited upon me - I had a surprise situation.
A complete blackout. No power no transport and absolutely locked up for a day away from all this.
I thought I would gain some perspective , but I seem to have lost it, dont know why.
I actually have self diagnosed myself as having a problem of inertia.
When I work on onething I find it hard to leave it and do something else.Even if its not my job - even if its not worth from a payoff
perspective. If I find it good enough to get it started I kind of persist on it.
Similarly When I dont work and veer off to movies and books , work seems like a necessary evil and hard to get started on.
This extends to many other things which includes like not looking for a change.
But fortunately or unfortunately - strange circumstances happen - which finally get me moving every couple of the years.
Seems the next cycle has started.
Anyways its great to listen to stuff you pretty much know and actually might have said to them once from friends.
It reaffirms the whole thing again and makes us feel good.Same stuff we repeat to each other when times are bad , but it does help.
Like one freind told me a such stuff - to calm my mood - part of which I sort had once told her in different words though.Nothing new.
"See if I hire a servant from a village, and she looks after my in laws fine and is very helpful to guests but I dont seem to be
her priority I will still complain right. So it happens let it go."
Then she added her hubby's wise statements to it.(Ok I let it pass that he's a manager)
See if your existing servant whom you started off asks for a 30% hike you scowl. She leaves - you hire a new one at 50%.
And those are the facts of the world we live in."
Actually I previously had a co-worker who for all his faults had a great sense of humor.
He once remarked women are perfect for QA - they have inherent qualities for it.
i.e they find find faults with everything and anything - Nothing seems satisfying enough.
The verdict though has been clean and clear from pretty much my close friends I know.
"You think way too much - what is there to think so much about trying for alternative job.
First try and then you can think - and dont over- react as if your job is in jeopardy (they know the whole issue is simply which
manager gets to suffer me now that I am angry)
You are one hell of a coward deep inside when it comes to yourself - in initiating the change"
Yeah I find it hard to disagree, - but I have my reasons
and at this point they say thats the hard part
"your reasoning is totally flawed but hard to argue with you" -
So I start being a little courageous for myself. After all
"Courage is the fear of being thought a coward. ~Horace Smith"
This should actually be a seperate post. RGV deserves that but I am too lost in my worries (I add my saga to the end),and he put across a opinion which sort of merged into my thoughts I mix it up here.
Ram Gopal varma - have known quite a few fanatics of his. Have seen some of his movies which are too good and some too hilarious.
Seriously Thank god I watched Daud in TV. In theater I dont know how I could have managed.
The music of Dauuuuud... itself felt so hilarious.
But this isnt about his movies really. I did not like him much as a person as his visions seem like he's still stuck in some crazy
curiosity associated with teenage boys - his potrayal of his leading ladies/his horror fixation.
But I dont know waiting at which place I flipped through which magazine/news wherein I read a interview of his where he said something like this
" If I need to think why would I go to a woman. I would open a book"
Now its not a comment that makes any woman happy , but the guy I thought was being quite honest and I admired that then and that thought stayed with me . Till I saw this tweet by him and again thought.
Well all said and done he just put honestly a very uncomfortable truth.
"The biggest lie is that hard work pays nd ths is mainly propogated by smart non workers who live off the stupid hard workers"
The thought and some other stuff and my life's bad twists got me started off on reading "fooled by randomness".
The goings slow but will post on that later.
So well its been terrible time .Its like something which was nothing has snowballed into horrid stuff.
Its actually not as horrible if only , if only I could develop that Take It easy policy.Its a hard hard bargain.Easy to say but tough to live upto .But some of the most idiotic people have that attitude and thats what carries them through.
Actually all managers Ive seen who really want to see you move up gave one simple advice - dont worry about people's grumbles and mumbles .
I find it unlike others easier to implement it in life - but hard when it relates to work.
I once had a flare up with a team member regarding some work assigned and he mumbled something I got into the - lets clear this up mode and my manager calls me up and explains - come on its ok just ignore.
Similarly a friend who was sort of upset about being labelled too aggressive by a set of people who did not like being questioned
about timelines (esp by a lady)spoke to her senior manager who just smiled and re-iterated the same advice.
Ignore it - its part of the job.
(Heard of someone who happen to know by grapevine as a very bindaas - "I wont work" kind of cool person and
he got into IT's most hallowed places.You could see the pain it causes to the people
who really passionately go about work. But well as they say high up there what you need is a bindaas take it easy person.
You cant go crazy everytime something crashes. But yeah that news sort of made me feel think a trifle
less of the only company I ever admired(I am not a great fan of big organizations , though been with few and still am).
I always thought - oh what could I do there - (its for the hot shot developers and ultra smart genius game changers and what not - but well times change or our perspectives change)
Now this is all very nice if you have the support - but its a bit hard to take when you are on your own.
Added to that many women simply are worriers - I admit that and give up , we worry way too much.I know it yet its hard to change. Also you think you are cool and over most stuff by now and still at the crunch you just have that pent up emotion.
I have like a soap opera in my head running continuosly - if this is said , this is to be answered . If that then this and what not.
I am never a self help book person - I actually feel beyond help to speak the truth.
but one book I had once bookmarked to check someday was "Women Who Think Too Much: How to Break Free of Overthinking and Reclaim Your Life"
My greatest problem despite all the wonderful advice I have read and know is still the same.
You see a email, you are infuriated , reply reply now.
Forget fury - In any case I have a terrible habit with email - I need to reply and be done with them.
No other way I seem to be at peace.
A huge disadvantage well wishers have advised.
The best successful people are those who as the quote says.
"I love work. I can stare at it for hours"
So I spoiled a whole day in fury , being upset and what not and ringing up people up north and down south to
get a handle on my nerves and stop behaving like the idiot that I inherently seem to be.
I mean what are you supposed to answer when someone arrogantly (OK I exaggerate that chilling calm voice is what I take as arrogance)states as a benefit of working in this place for over 2 years
"Where did you work previously (i.e its some small mid sized place)- here youve worked on blah blah - a big blah"
And I react
" Oh yeah So what ?? the next blah product you ask me to look at - well the manager there will also say
- I gave you the big chance on this blah , Did you ever work on this kind of blah"
I forgot - I forgot big time - that managers are also human beings
and human beings have egos
and a human being who happens to be a manager and Indian usually tends to have a big big ego.
Add to it the calm ones who are polished and nurse the hurts like a wound which does not augur well for little people like me.
And then just when I was trying to soothe myself from all the woes being visited upon me - I had a surprise situation.
A complete blackout. No power no transport and absolutely locked up for a day away from all this.
I thought I would gain some perspective , but I seem to have lost it, dont know why.
I actually have self diagnosed myself as having a problem of inertia.
When I work on onething I find it hard to leave it and do something else.Even if its not my job - even if its not worth from a payoff
perspective. If I find it good enough to get it started I kind of persist on it.
Similarly When I dont work and veer off to movies and books , work seems like a necessary evil and hard to get started on.
This extends to many other things which includes like not looking for a change.
But fortunately or unfortunately - strange circumstances happen - which finally get me moving every couple of the years.
Seems the next cycle has started.
Anyways its great to listen to stuff you pretty much know and actually might have said to them once from friends.
It reaffirms the whole thing again and makes us feel good.Same stuff we repeat to each other when times are bad , but it does help.
Like one freind told me a such stuff - to calm my mood - part of which I sort had once told her in different words though.Nothing new.
"See if I hire a servant from a village, and she looks after my in laws fine and is very helpful to guests but I dont seem to be
her priority I will still complain right. So it happens let it go."
Then she added her hubby's wise statements to it.(Ok I let it pass that he's a manager)
See if your existing servant whom you started off asks for a 30% hike you scowl. She leaves - you hire a new one at 50%.
And those are the facts of the world we live in."
Actually I previously had a co-worker who for all his faults had a great sense of humor.
He once remarked women are perfect for QA - they have inherent qualities for it.
i.e they find find faults with everything and anything - Nothing seems satisfying enough.
The verdict though has been clean and clear from pretty much my close friends I know.
"You think way too much - what is there to think so much about trying for alternative job.
First try and then you can think - and dont over- react as if your job is in jeopardy (they know the whole issue is simply which
manager gets to suffer me now that I am angry)
You are one hell of a coward deep inside when it comes to yourself - in initiating the change"
Yeah I find it hard to disagree, - but I have my reasons
and at this point they say thats the hard part
"your reasoning is totally flawed but hard to argue with you" -
So I start being a little courageous for myself. After all
"Courage is the fear of being thought a coward. ~Horace Smith"
Monday, August 09, 2010
Reading Eat Pray....
One damn good thing about letting go on the work front is you shift yourself off to different things.
Also once you work for long on organization specific stuff you lose touch answering generic stuff and so when you gotta go for interviews where they send poor people like us only to do interviewing and they ask the bookish stuff ,
youve got to start brushing up the question answer thing.
And to get in the mood for reading boring stuff I need some light reading practice.
So I decided to read something slightly fluffy to first get back to reading pages and well considering its gonna be soon a Julia Roberts movie I thought ok lets wrap this book first as I am not yet up for more complicated reading.
The book " EAT PRAY LOVE " to be frank is I feel slightly overrated on the overall bit, but I feel this is one book where the movie might be a bit more fun.
Julia Roberts kind of would add up to this movie. She has this knack of pulling up stuff like this pretty well.
The books written in quite good humor and all , but I especially found it written more like the journal / blog and sort of does not give that overwhelming feeling at all.
But then I've always believed that movies and books are different not only to different people but, different to the same people based on the mood and circumstance that the acquaintance with them starts.
So may be I just was in that kind of wrong mood.
Although the most boring part for me was her India part. The part dedicated to Pray.
I mean it seemed the most hopeless part. All she describes is her stint at a Ashram and where they teach her the usual stuff devotion, yoga and self belief.
Now most of it can be achieved at your own home if only you can self control or care to listen to general good.
But you cant , we humans love to led around by a Guru.
If someone we are familiar with tells us - wake up at 4am and sit still for 4 hrs would we revere him/her and do it - No not that easily.
Go to a ashram and have some hypnotic voice say it and you realize God.
I have nothing against the guru concept itself but its more often than not misused . But why complain - it simply shows that most of
humanity loves to follow - they just need a intoxicating and rousing enough cause /man/ woman who can convince them.
Any one can be the Guru -the ultimate pied pipers of this world - you just need to discover the right tune and the children of God flock to you.
Getting back to the book - the India part has nothing India in it except an Ashram and it in no way is India.
It is when I read such authors that I value authors like Shashi Deshpande etc even more whose writing may almost
seem boring to most Indians as its so very realistic and middle class compared to the exotic Western writing on India
Or the more famous Indian elite writers like say Rushdie .
I have written in previous review on Shantaram etc too how I hate this romanticzing the Indian rural village for westerners.
Its a very brutal and politicized landscape and the poorest too are hardly any innocent - the only argument would be they cant afford to be that.
So I felt absolute nonsense in that part OR may be familiarity breeds contempt.
I really wish someone from Italy or Bali can tell how they felt about the section on their countries compared to the others.
Now lets get to what I was not familiar with .
The Italy part - I sort of like it better. Now she might have called this the pleasure part ,
but this is where she delves mostly into her thoughts , so sort of liked it better.Though again I guess people who love food
would empathize with this part hugely.
The only part where I really could empathize was the point where she describes the situation of a friend who has a baby and
just then a successful exhibition of her paintings and throws a party about it and the situation what happens next
- she describes is something I've seen a bit often - where women do act as if its totally worth it and may be it is for them.It was the most realistic part. But well its all perspectives!!!.
I liked the fact that she didn't in the end totally romanticize Bali. She showed how the very kind hearted -- are also very human.
How many cultures in the east have a great reverence for a guest (e.g esp a guest from town in a village is taken such dear care of /
people from the west see our best and worst and not the real shades that we live in.)
and so on but can be brutal and heartless to their very own.
The part where she describes how the woman almost tries to blackmail her for more money -- based on the very permise that most
tourists are treated in here " Arre for them a few dollars is nothing" .
The very fact that normal people from the west somehow are slightly more gullible and easily open their purses in the name of charitable causes.
Its not like we are all misers here but we are relatively smarter about cheats (they being a part and parcel of life here).
Also fact is mostly we need a good enough cause for most things including charity
- like washing away sins
- feeling better for the day (ah my 5 rupee coin let a beggar live a day more on the street)
- or be with the in crowd
Ok I think I'm in my worst sarcastic mood but there are enough good and bad people all across the world just that we love to generalize.
As I said its a good read , but somehow the book did not have that touching effect.
I really feel the movie would be much better.
P.S: The nicest inspirational quote in the book
"it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection"
One thought here - why is it that westerners discover/ are told about such awesome quotes in our Bhagvad Gita.
When they teach it to Indians we have it interpreted differently or rather more stringently.
Imperfect lives huh - in Gita haan - that's against society , again parents and what not .
But that's what the best part of Hinduism - I guess with all its flaws . Its all about finding your perspective in the same words .
I kind of keyed this in a a hurry so well missed the truest line in the
book.Kind of hard to counteract in any sphere of life.
"There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?" Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all,
trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering.
P.P.S
I guess Im in a kind of feminist tirade mood too - its not planned but circumstances seem to be all for it.
Saw a update on profile of friend who is a mom.
Some guy on her list confesses since my daughter was born ,I now respect women,
great you are you all moms Godly
earlier I disrespected women that they came to office for wasting time - did no work but you are all god
the lady applauds !! Better late than never
I dont know what to say - if I had to say (so glad I dont knowthe chap )-
appreciate that better late ...Or
yeah so now all moms are gods and rest - since they arent gods ??
I hate the whole updates and stuff ...should turn them off .
but they have their uses I guess
Also once you work for long on organization specific stuff you lose touch answering generic stuff and so when you gotta go for interviews where they send poor people like us only to do interviewing and they ask the bookish stuff ,
youve got to start brushing up the question answer thing.
And to get in the mood for reading boring stuff I need some light reading practice.
So I decided to read something slightly fluffy to first get back to reading pages and well considering its gonna be soon a Julia Roberts movie I thought ok lets wrap this book first as I am not yet up for more complicated reading.
The book " EAT PRAY LOVE " to be frank is I feel slightly overrated on the overall bit, but I feel this is one book where the movie might be a bit more fun.
Julia Roberts kind of would add up to this movie. She has this knack of pulling up stuff like this pretty well.
The books written in quite good humor and all , but I especially found it written more like the journal / blog and sort of does not give that overwhelming feeling at all.
But then I've always believed that movies and books are different not only to different people but, different to the same people based on the mood and circumstance that the acquaintance with them starts.
So may be I just was in that kind of wrong mood.
Although the most boring part for me was her India part. The part dedicated to Pray.
I mean it seemed the most hopeless part. All she describes is her stint at a Ashram and where they teach her the usual stuff devotion, yoga and self belief.
Now most of it can be achieved at your own home if only you can self control or care to listen to general good.
But you cant , we humans love to led around by a Guru.
If someone we are familiar with tells us - wake up at 4am and sit still for 4 hrs would we revere him/her and do it - No not that easily.
Go to a ashram and have some hypnotic voice say it and you realize God.
I have nothing against the guru concept itself but its more often than not misused . But why complain - it simply shows that most of
humanity loves to follow - they just need a intoxicating and rousing enough cause /man/ woman who can convince them.
Any one can be the Guru -the ultimate pied pipers of this world - you just need to discover the right tune and the children of God flock to you.
Getting back to the book - the India part has nothing India in it except an Ashram and it in no way is India.
It is when I read such authors that I value authors like Shashi Deshpande etc even more whose writing may almost
seem boring to most Indians as its so very realistic and middle class compared to the exotic Western writing on India
Or the more famous Indian elite writers like say Rushdie .
I have written in previous review on Shantaram etc too how I hate this romanticzing the Indian rural village for westerners.
Its a very brutal and politicized landscape and the poorest too are hardly any innocent - the only argument would be they cant afford to be that.
So I felt absolute nonsense in that part OR may be familiarity breeds contempt.
I really wish someone from Italy or Bali can tell how they felt about the section on their countries compared to the others.
Now lets get to what I was not familiar with .
The Italy part - I sort of like it better. Now she might have called this the pleasure part ,
but this is where she delves mostly into her thoughts , so sort of liked it better.Though again I guess people who love food
would empathize with this part hugely.
The only part where I really could empathize was the point where she describes the situation of a friend who has a baby and
just then a successful exhibition of her paintings and throws a party about it and the situation what happens next
- she describes is something I've seen a bit often - where women do act as if its totally worth it and may be it is for them.It was the most realistic part. But well its all perspectives!!!.
I liked the fact that she didn't in the end totally romanticize Bali. She showed how the very kind hearted -- are also very human.
How many cultures in the east have a great reverence for a guest (e.g esp a guest from town in a village is taken such dear care of /
people from the west see our best and worst and not the real shades that we live in.)
and so on but can be brutal and heartless to their very own.
The part where she describes how the woman almost tries to blackmail her for more money -- based on the very permise that most
tourists are treated in here " Arre for them a few dollars is nothing" .
The very fact that normal people from the west somehow are slightly more gullible and easily open their purses in the name of charitable causes.
Its not like we are all misers here but we are relatively smarter about cheats (they being a part and parcel of life here).
Also fact is mostly we need a good enough cause for most things including charity
- like washing away sins
- feeling better for the day (ah my 5 rupee coin let a beggar live a day more on the street)
- or be with the in crowd
Ok I think I'm in my worst sarcastic mood but there are enough good and bad people all across the world just that we love to generalize.
As I said its a good read , but somehow the book did not have that touching effect.
I really feel the movie would be much better.
P.S: The nicest inspirational quote in the book
"it is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection"
One thought here - why is it that westerners discover/ are told about such awesome quotes in our Bhagvad Gita.
When they teach it to Indians we have it interpreted differently or rather more stringently.
Imperfect lives huh - in Gita haan - that's against society , again parents and what not .
But that's what the best part of Hinduism - I guess with all its flaws . Its all about finding your perspective in the same words .
I kind of keyed this in a a hurry so well missed the truest line in the
book.Kind of hard to counteract in any sphere of life.
"There are only two questions that human beings have ever fought over, all through history. How much do you love me? And Who's in charge?" Everything else is somehow manageable. But these two questions of love and control undo us all,
trip us up and cause war, grief and suffering.
P.P.S
I guess Im in a kind of feminist tirade mood too - its not planned but circumstances seem to be all for it.
Saw a update on profile of friend who is a mom.
Some guy on her list confesses since my daughter was born ,I now respect women,
great you are you all moms Godly
earlier I disrespected women that they came to office for wasting time - did no work but you are all god
the lady applauds !! Better late than never
I dont know what to say - if I had to say (so glad I dont knowthe chap )-
appreciate that better late ...Or
yeah so now all moms are gods and rest - since they arent gods ??
I hate the whole updates and stuff ...should turn them off .
but they have their uses I guess
Sunday, August 08, 2010
And some work related nuisance
This isnt the first time and it wont be the last but I have my days when I properly turn
upside down all that I work for like a petulant child.
When I rarely used to draw something years ago I had this inbuilt , sketch my favorite rose very nicely and
then scratch it all over or in my best mood draw window rails all over it.
This post is just a rant , a record I am just posting - to look back how I never seem to grow up.
I just did not like it what was happening at my workplace.
I am countlessly told , oh you are appreciated - Good job what not but at the end of the day I have nothing to show for it.
But well thats a normal thing in corporate offices .
What bugged me was the reason for this was that this was because I was in the middle of a power struggle of
two or may be unknown to me three managers.
No one wants to fight and further a cause which does not benefit them directly.
The one who is benefitted is not in a position to further my cause directly.
And thus I end up sidelined.Well this is all again usual I guess.
What I do at such times is my very own style of stupidity.
Most people would simply go out look for a change and slam it in the face of such employers or
look at some brighter side in their life and trudge on in the same way.
I just go and talk nonsense and then feel hugely relieved about it.
After working from the scratch on something for 2 years because I was angry at this whole scenario
I just walkin and say I want to move out to some other department, and well they are thrilled about my asking for a move ,
but not from the whole department - we have so much in here... and so on and I talk back even more ridiculosuly - or may be not.
Ok do you want to do some development work ?
What dev after 6 yrs of QA - no I dont want to be your average developer.
Ok we have some work on blah blah...would you like to explore
No I dont want to do any exploration work at all .
Would you want to do the set up ...
No i dont want to set up anything anymore did fair enough of that
So your interest area in performance end would you want something on that.
No you product is too complex so they dont use tools and
do it like ...... I dont want that.
I did not want to mean that I did not like complex products but I guess they took it like that as it suited them
Ok so you want some new challenge
No i want what I am good at - no challenges anymore Ive taken enough
I did just some similar odd angry talkback like this some 3+ years back for moving out of a module - that I literally owned and was indirectly told to be the lead.
This process seems to keep me perennially stuck up at the same point in my career and well I have my moment of regrets
when I look back at my peers and all.
But they are just moments, they pass too quickly and after a good nights sleep I have to recall what the whole fuss was all about.
It just some well meaning friends who actually do the rub in or scratch the painful reminders.
For now I am like very chilled out.
See the best thing about all my outburst is I've practically announced - no longer rely on me,
and they know they havent much to offer unto me.
So while I did screw up my long term career prospects my short term mood prospects are so better.
But I console myself with that wonderful line
"In the long term we are all dead" - I am absolutely rooting for 2012 end of the world - ok at least for me.
P.S:one thing Ive learnt is we Indians are so conscious about who's the boss - always.
Everyone goes around saying we should not be taking orders from the US people when the whole workforce is here - we do the real
work and what not,but what no one says openly is while they can still swallow some US chap ordering them around in India - nothing embitters people as much as an Indian in US ordering them around .
I wish I just said that one line too. But then I know both sides are pretty much the same so I am glad at heart I managed pretty well.
So lets see how things work out from here.
P.P.S: Few months back when things weren't as bad in life as they are now I and my sister had shortlisted two places to may be visit
if we could save up.Thailand / Leh.
Thailand had the political unrest.Leh now has that cloudburst
It means nothing really and yet I feel so cursed even in my thoughts.
This isnt the first time and it wont be the last but I have my days when I properly turn
upside down all that I work for like a petulant child.
When I rarely used to draw something years ago I had this inbuilt , sketch my favorite rose very nicely and
then scratch it all over or in my best mood draw window rails all over it.
This post is just a rant , a record I am just posting - to look back how I never seem to grow up.
I just did not like it what was happening at my workplace.
I am countlessly told , oh you are appreciated - Good job what not but at the end of the day I have nothing to show for it.
But well thats a normal thing in corporate offices .
What bugged me was the reason for this was that this was because I was in the middle of a power struggle of
two or may be unknown to me three managers.
No one wants to fight and further a cause which does not benefit them directly.
The one who is benefitted is not in a position to further my cause directly.
And thus I end up sidelined.Well this is all again usual I guess.
What I do at such times is my very own style of stupidity.
Most people would simply go out look for a change and slam it in the face of such employers or
look at some brighter side in their life and trudge on in the same way.
I just go and talk nonsense and then feel hugely relieved about it.
After working from the scratch on something for 2 years because I was angry at this whole scenario
I just walkin and say I want to move out to some other department, and well they are thrilled about my asking for a move ,
but not from the whole department - we have so much in here... and so on and I talk back even more ridiculosuly - or may be not.
Ok do you want to do some development work ?
What dev after 6 yrs of QA - no I dont want to be your average developer.
Ok we have some work on blah blah...would you like to explore
No I dont want to do any exploration work at all .
Would you want to do the set up ...
No i dont want to set up anything anymore did fair enough of that
So your interest area in performance end would you want something on that.
No you product is too complex so they dont use tools and
do it like ...... I dont want that.
I did not want to mean that I did not like complex products but I guess they took it like that as it suited them
Ok so you want some new challenge
No i want what I am good at - no challenges anymore Ive taken enough
I did just some similar odd angry talkback like this some 3+ years back for moving out of a module - that I literally owned and was indirectly told to be the lead.
This process seems to keep me perennially stuck up at the same point in my career and well I have my moment of regrets
when I look back at my peers and all.
But they are just moments, they pass too quickly and after a good nights sleep I have to recall what the whole fuss was all about.
It just some well meaning friends who actually do the rub in or scratch the painful reminders.
For now I am like very chilled out.
See the best thing about all my outburst is I've practically announced - no longer rely on me,
and they know they havent much to offer unto me.
So while I did screw up my long term career prospects my short term mood prospects are so better.
But I console myself with that wonderful line
"In the long term we are all dead" - I am absolutely rooting for 2012 end of the world - ok at least for me.
P.S:one thing Ive learnt is we Indians are so conscious about who's the boss - always.
Everyone goes around saying we should not be taking orders from the US people when the whole workforce is here - we do the real
work and what not,but what no one says openly is while they can still swallow some US chap ordering them around in India - nothing embitters people as much as an Indian in US ordering them around .
I wish I just said that one line too. But then I know both sides are pretty much the same so I am glad at heart I managed pretty well.
So lets see how things work out from here.
P.P.S: Few months back when things weren't as bad in life as they are now I and my sister had shortlisted two places to may be visit
if we could save up.Thailand / Leh.
Thailand had the political unrest.Leh now has that cloudburst
It means nothing really and yet I feel so cursed even in my thoughts.
Saturday, August 07, 2010
Some reading ----
I somehow had on the twitter two articles sometime last month on the same day that left an
immensely bad taste and worse mood .
Now one usually does glance out at much crap like this first article and dismiss it as a hopeless insane person.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/07/08/sharron-angles-advice-for_n_639294.html
Which is what I almost did except that the crap line in support of God
" Much good can come from a horrific situation like that, Angle added.
Lemons can be made into lemonade. " and "God's plan." sort of stayed with me
and the usual stuff of bad karma that gets associated with such stuff.
Then as I coincidenatlly read another link that I came across and I almost had a very vicious argument in my head against such crap.
Now this is a very long article on a very sad situation and while it is in general about the post war stuff in Rwanda , the difficulty of reconciling with people who are the prime cause of torture can be a personal thing too in many cases.
There was something esp understanding I felt about so many people being dismissive of physical torure
http://www.guernicamag.com/features/1853/linfield_7_1_10/
I dont want to write much on that and the article is amazingly painful in general.
But since I happened to read the previous nonsense when I read this I wanted to ask that horrible stupid woman
(and they say education makes people better)- look at this about Rwanada.
Now what good is to come of this.
Did God have a plan - how can he make such a plan and be God?
Half a million people had bad karma?
"It says but Human Rights Watch estimates that up to half a million women were raped. Seventy percent of those who survived are HIV-positive, according to UNICEF, and it is thought that ten thousand to twenty-five thousand children were born of these rapes. Their mothers are often ostracized by their communities and live, therefore, in marginalization and immiseration (some have been forced to turn to prostitution); the children are reviled by other Tutsis as “children of bad memories,” “children of hate,” or “little killers.”
I am quite agnostic and dont like to get at all into personal relegious discussions but when such crap is
mentioned by people aspiring to be leaders(forget the fact that she is from US - we will happily have our equivalents ) it seems sick.
I am sure they will justify it by some plan of God surely.
The article touches upon the effects of torture - in the Nazi context in a very moving way - we seem to have these days built this highbrow stuff about soul and heart and all but forget that most normal people cannot think of that - when the body is in painfully tortured - that torture sort of can define their soul.
Améry learned, too, that all those aspects of his character that he had considered central and unique would quickly vanish, leaving only one irrefutable reality: the body in pain. “The tortured person never ceases to be amazed that all those things one may… call his soul, or his mind, or his consciousness, or his identity, are destroyed when there is that cracking and splintering in the shoulder joints… Only through torture did he learn that a living person can be transformed so thoroughly into flesh.” The destruction of the autonomous self—a destruction that, if he survives, will continue to haunt the victim—makes torture “the most horrible event a human being can retain within himself.”
The tortured person loses what Améry called “trust in the world”: a belief in the social contract, a belief that the boundaries of the body will be respected, a belief that the world wants to share itself with you. Trust in the world means that you, too, are entitled to a minimal safety and a minimal life: though the world might not shower you with happiness, it will at least defend your right to exist. The loss of that trust, Améry argued, is a kind of mutilation. That is why “whoever was tortured, stays tortured… It was over for a while. It still is not over. Twenty-two years later I am still dangling.”
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Ahem the Appreciation(Mails)
I had been on this thought since the last fortnight or so but finally in this rainy sleepless night have managed to key it in.
"Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have.
When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times."
Steve Brunkhorst
Beautiful and True - If only it wasn't developed into a fake art.
Appreciationsor rather appreciation mails form one of the most important part and parcel of what we call our corporate jobs.
Oh well even government jobs have some appreciation I learnt when I saw my father display some of his stuff.
Its the perfect alternative cited by the hallowed managers as what one must go after instead of materialistic compensation.
Even if for a moment you believe them you will only end up in dissapointment with how much of all this is fake.
All I want to know is - if I have some one honest enough to let me in on the secret do they believe it themselevs
and most importantly do they think that all their reportees are such blind fools not to see it through.
I guess at the core there are two kinds of appreciation mails - the original and the fake
The genuine and really heartfelt ones - rare from our managers in India, relatively easier to get from overseas customers/managers
Here while some are real nice and make you feel really appreciated ,some are a tad too
profuse and dramatic to the point of being embarassing at times.
Fakes as always have more variety unlike originals - so three very basic varieties
First are the obligatory ones sent - usually in response to one appreciation - its kind of like retweet on twitter
Someone from the top appreciates someone - and so they feel obligated to appreciate to appease the original top honcho
- Good job , Great job blah blah.
And they want us to believe they appreciate. Heck !!
Second are the compulsive appreciators. The ones who appreciate as a mean to appease themselves - something like
"I am on top I have the power to appreciate."
So they send a good job - Wonderful and such one liners for every task by email
Last comes the calculated appreciations a hybrid of the above two
The ones with the right cc , with the right cut copy and paste .The ones which dont just feel fake, but in someway seem to
want to ensure its obvious the are fake - the mean art of appreciation.
Thought about it when we received a appreciation mail for some work from a Sr manager abroad in very simple
genuine almost handwritten letter kind of words.
Felt nice though,No big deal we felt ,apart from the fact that we had to do a
rarity in our project - work late till midnight for just a day.
The cc list was a bit too high up , I almost felt - why the heck.
And then a follow up mail a week later to it saying the customer too was very happy and we were like - uff let it be please.
Glad to hear and love that you appreciate.
And here it wouldve ended but for the fake drama that ensued.
First the clueless immediate manager wants to know - umm what was that for.
I reply back - I did blah blah ...
A did mwha mwha ....
And then in half an hour it gets retweeted to another cc list as I said
Good job B for doing blah blah
Good Job A for mwha mwha . keep it up
Some say this is needed to spread the word. May be it is - So a Good Job with the Fwd will suffice ,
but when you start doing cut copy paste in such manner of my own words - back to me its a fake and makes me despise you for the fakeness.
This is why its probably better to go after materialistic compensation. At least the fakes there have some use till discovered as fakes.
And so it goes...
Its been a messy career move for me, the last one I did I guess. Quite unhappy here in every aspect.
Why do you need to ask for what you deserve??
I refuse to - not a great career plan , but what the heck !!
Its time for them to get what they deserve.
Ive got to move out of this comfort zone Ive gotten myself into. More on that later.
I had been on this thought since the last fortnight or so but finally in this rainy sleepless night have managed to key it in.
"Feeling appreciated is one of the most important needs that people have.
When you share with someone your appreciation and gratitude, they will not forget you. Appreciation will return to you many times."
Steve Brunkhorst
Beautiful and True - If only it wasn't developed into a fake art.
Appreciationsor rather appreciation mails form one of the most important part and parcel of what we call our corporate jobs.
Oh well even government jobs have some appreciation I learnt when I saw my father display some of his stuff.
Its the perfect alternative cited by the hallowed managers as what one must go after instead of materialistic compensation.
Even if for a moment you believe them you will only end up in dissapointment with how much of all this is fake.
All I want to know is - if I have some one honest enough to let me in on the secret do they believe it themselevs
and most importantly do they think that all their reportees are such blind fools not to see it through.
I guess at the core there are two kinds of appreciation mails - the original and the fake
The genuine and really heartfelt ones - rare from our managers in India, relatively easier to get from overseas customers/managers
Here while some are real nice and make you feel really appreciated ,some are a tad too
profuse and dramatic to the point of being embarassing at times.
Fakes as always have more variety unlike originals - so three very basic varieties
First are the obligatory ones sent - usually in response to one appreciation - its kind of like retweet on twitter
Someone from the top appreciates someone - and so they feel obligated to appreciate to appease the original top honcho
- Good job , Great job blah blah.
And they want us to believe they appreciate. Heck !!
Second are the compulsive appreciators. The ones who appreciate as a mean to appease themselves - something like
"I am on top I have the power to appreciate."
So they send a good job - Wonderful and such one liners for every task by email
Last comes the calculated appreciations a hybrid of the above two
The ones with the right cc , with the right cut copy and paste .The ones which dont just feel fake, but in someway seem to
want to ensure its obvious the are fake - the mean art of appreciation.
Thought about it when we received a appreciation mail for some work from a Sr manager abroad in very simple
genuine almost handwritten letter kind of words.
Felt nice though,No big deal we felt ,apart from the fact that we had to do a
rarity in our project - work late till midnight for just a day.
The cc list was a bit too high up , I almost felt - why the heck.
And then a follow up mail a week later to it saying the customer too was very happy and we were like - uff let it be please.
Glad to hear and love that you appreciate.
And here it wouldve ended but for the fake drama that ensued.
First the clueless immediate manager wants to know - umm what was that for.
I reply back - I did blah blah ...
A did mwha mwha ....
And then in half an hour it gets retweeted to another cc list as I said
Good job B for doing blah blah
Good Job A for mwha mwha . keep it up
Some say this is needed to spread the word. May be it is - So a Good Job with the Fwd will suffice ,
but when you start doing cut copy paste in such manner of my own words - back to me its a fake and makes me despise you for the fakeness.
This is why its probably better to go after materialistic compensation. At least the fakes there have some use till discovered as fakes.
And so it goes...
Its been a messy career move for me, the last one I did I guess. Quite unhappy here in every aspect.
Why do you need to ask for what you deserve??
I refuse to - not a great career plan , but what the heck !!
Its time for them to get what they deserve.
Ive got to move out of this comfort zone Ive gotten myself into. More on that later.
Thursday, July 08, 2010
To Blog or not or whatabout
I myself have been brooding over why don’t I write a post for quite some time, but somehow I don’t get down to it.
Sometimes I feel I’ve vented a lot in here so I probably repeat myself and then sometimes it just feels too much to key in.
Then again I have gotten into that comfort zone of just reading all interesting links links in my Reader and twitter.
and finally Ive lost my inspiration i.e my frustration with people – ive developed a zen like calm with my solitary & hopeless & dreary
surroundings @home & @office
I think half my posts are my ranting against something – some happening , some thing said by someone or worst some movie and so this is what happens by following the zen calm or accepting what we lovingly call our karma.
You don’t even bother to rant and rave for or against things. And yet and yet so much of the stuff you see in the most busy section in a book shop – the motivational books hmmm – they preach the same thing.Accept and be happy or at peace or whatever.
Does that brings peace – now does it really?
I guess it fosters a habit of accepting less than the best .So borrowing management terminology while in short term it looks good – in the long run may be it will only end up in quite a opposite way.
And so what do I write about ??
My pet hate my office – Oh but what and who do I hate there. Almost everything and everyone is sort of absent there. I lead a very solitary and powerful professional team which is involved in something oh well – lemme put it better
The link leads to a paper presented in the field of my work . And the best way to describe my dilemma is presented in the small fable section there.
I just keep wondering who Am I there? Jerry Overworked,Kevin Shorttimer,Ahmed Hardluck
No No I sure am not Anita thankfully
I have a deep desire to forward the above stuff to all my managers(and I have a bad luck – I never seem to have one – its always multiple) with the above lines.
Movies - Oh but I never am any good at reviews which anyways are done way better by much better people all over the blogosphere. But I used to chatter about how I hated or enjoyed some. But Bollywood has been hugely disappointing whatever I managed to see.
You cant even dislike Kites – Seriously – you cant love it , you cant say what you hate it. Its more greek than spanish truly!!
Books - Ive been reading less books and more about books .
But still may be thats what I can write about.
But honestly I do wish I get myself to write somehow. Its just that life all around seems to be in a very heartbreak arena.
Half the world seems heartbroken or rather hell bent on breaking each others heart.
And then it just feels good to think you are heartless and thus hale before you realize – its too good to be true.
You are play acting exactly what you want to avoid facing.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
A sudden bend in time
The last month and half if that could be a time frame was a sort of surprise , nothing I can write in here much of as I cant see them yet of any serious consequence for good or worse but yet it has changed so much or has it ?
I have been quite clueless about literally everything happening around me and so I just let it go on. Meeting people you thought have all but forgotten you and people you have sort of taken for granted dissapearing suddenly.People who you hope would stand up in life falling into ruts of such low that you don't know if to hate life's cruelties or hate the lack of spine in such people.
It has happned to me sort of earlier if not exactly but similarly. A sudden pattern wherein all the people in life just dissapear.Being not quite a social person this unnerves me in ways, despite the fact that these werent the most important people OR people I depended on .They were just people who sort of kept me ensconced in the world of my professional life which pretty much is my social life too.
Two friends moved suddenly to differnt cities for personal reasons and my teammate (against whom I do rant and rave here and yet we pretty much kept this strange team that we have going )left finally yesterday. We never agreed , we had differneces and yet we never let anyone else use that against us within/outside the team . So now suddenly its like I am stuck alone in one big mess. And in a few days another kid who used to be with us also is gonna leave. I sort of seem to be the last person standing in a old falling castle.
I wasnt sad , neither was I happy , just unnerved by a sudden vaccum in a not very nice world.Its like everyone I knew in my office is quitting and everyone I knew outside office has already quit this country.
I too want to move on but as usual its so many things fears , risks which hold you back especially now in such a uncertain world. And so it goes on for me like a never ending saga. I am at a very clueless point in my life. Things dont make sense either ways when I look at anything.
It reminded me of Kundera's lines in that opening chapter of "The Unbearable lightness of being " (posted previously here )discussing the idea of eternal return
We can never know what to want, because, living only one life, we can neither compare it with our previous lives nor perfect it in our lives to come.
There is no means of testing which decision is better, be cause there is no basis for comparison. We live everything as it comes, without warning…..
And what can life be worth if the first rehearsal for life is life itself?
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Oh to grow up - once again !!
I've been as good as missing from here and well good I guess rather than some repeat cribbing.
But the last two weeks have been a blast from the past time having suddenly spoken/met so many of the people from the past.
And I suddenly wanted to write , just for the heck of it
But well lets start from some other point. The moment I heard the song I knew it would touch a set of people,
so it did and found so many loving that song.
The children who became adults of the 21st century majorly the +/- 1975-80 born people.
A sense of missing out , of how much could have been persists I feel in that generation which spent its best years
when there was such huge competition and no escapes even like 3 idiots.
Yes these are the people who want in their hearts desperately
- to grow up once again - with some sunshine.
Its a lovely song and I know some very hardworking , simple bright well settled people who at the exterior seem like the
calm / unemotional great acheivers or hard hearted but deep within in a very unsaid fashion longing for that sunshine , that happiness as there is that feeling of having missed out on what can never be again.
The movie 3 idiots well thats OK - good fun but I hate it being called great and I dislike quite much
in there (the know it all of Aamir's character - the definitions of success and a lot of the oversmartness -
the book was actually tad more realistic in some sense as there was no HERO who had to be perfect)
but well fun it is - no two ways on that.
I always feel if you have a happy childhood , other half of your life may be good or bad but you kind of thrive on those memories.
But if that part of your life has pain some of the best acheivements and happiness in life will never take away that pain.
Even books from a children's point of view are way too haunting at times.
I had started reading Kite Runner. I was depressed deeply half way through reading it. I had to stop it for a few weeks. It was a beautifully written book but I just found it depressing me.
The other book "A Thousand Splendid suns" did not affect much . It was just another story of what we sort of know and are used to - I mean of opression of women , human spirit and all that - somehow it does not match up to the first book Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini.
Well back to my memories well I met a friend from school - after 18 yrs and I just talk and talk .
I come home and think why is it that you who take a minimum of a year to get used to talking to a person in your cubicle in today's times and yet have it so easy talking to someone close to two decades ago.
It was so hard to remind myself this wasnt yesterday when we talked. Some of our teachers were dead and life hasnt been kind .
We havent lived up to what we had thought of becoming in school and yet it never felt that far.
Time plays havoc on the mind and letting go of past is such a hard process.
I of all seem to live in a time warp on the surface. Beyond the fact that then I was in school and now I am employed nothing seemed to have changed.
But its beneath the surface that the change lies
- I was then a sad scared and a tense child but had hopes in life , believed in surmounting the obstacles somehow, righting the wrongs
- I am now a confident adult who us is hugely cynical in life now
And yet when you see someone from that past and despite what you see only confirms your cynicism of life and the world
you want to turn the clock back
and grow up - once again
So I re-post this beautiful poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To deepest dusk,
from morning sun
to twilight dreams
fantastic schemes
and lives that go awry
such shining hopes
such sudden twists from
bright to dark
from grim to grand
from joy to sorrow
always waiting for tommorow
and a twist of fate
a ray of hope
with the faintest sleight of hand
the alteration of all of life’s schemes
and all its scope..
all with one tiny turn
of life’s KALEIDOSCOPE.
Danielle Steel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I've been as good as missing from here and well good I guess rather than some repeat cribbing.
But the last two weeks have been a blast from the past time having suddenly spoken/met so many of the people from the past.
And I suddenly wanted to write , just for the heck of it
But well lets start from some other point. The moment I heard the song I knew it would touch a set of people,
so it did and found so many loving that song.
The children who became adults of the 21st century majorly the +/- 1975-80 born people.
A sense of missing out , of how much could have been persists I feel in that generation which spent its best years
when there was such huge competition and no escapes even like 3 idiots.
Yes these are the people who want in their hearts desperately
- to grow up once again - with some sunshine.
Its a lovely song and I know some very hardworking , simple bright well settled people who at the exterior seem like the
calm / unemotional great acheivers or hard hearted but deep within in a very unsaid fashion longing for that sunshine , that happiness as there is that feeling of having missed out on what can never be again.
The movie 3 idiots well thats OK - good fun but I hate it being called great and I dislike quite much
in there (the know it all of Aamir's character - the definitions of success and a lot of the oversmartness -
the book was actually tad more realistic in some sense as there was no HERO who had to be perfect)
but well fun it is - no two ways on that.
I always feel if you have a happy childhood , other half of your life may be good or bad but you kind of thrive on those memories.
But if that part of your life has pain some of the best acheivements and happiness in life will never take away that pain.
Even books from a children's point of view are way too haunting at times.
I had started reading Kite Runner. I was depressed deeply half way through reading it. I had to stop it for a few weeks. It was a beautifully written book but I just found it depressing me.
The other book "A Thousand Splendid suns" did not affect much . It was just another story of what we sort of know and are used to - I mean of opression of women , human spirit and all that - somehow it does not match up to the first book Kite Runner By Khaled Hosseini.
Well back to my memories well I met a friend from school - after 18 yrs and I just talk and talk .
I come home and think why is it that you who take a minimum of a year to get used to talking to a person in your cubicle in today's times and yet have it so easy talking to someone close to two decades ago.
It was so hard to remind myself this wasnt yesterday when we talked. Some of our teachers were dead and life hasnt been kind .
We havent lived up to what we had thought of becoming in school and yet it never felt that far.
Time plays havoc on the mind and letting go of past is such a hard process.
I of all seem to live in a time warp on the surface. Beyond the fact that then I was in school and now I am employed nothing seemed to have changed.
But its beneath the surface that the change lies
- I was then a sad scared and a tense child but had hopes in life , believed in surmounting the obstacles somehow, righting the wrongs
- I am now a confident adult who us is hugely cynical in life now
And yet when you see someone from that past and despite what you see only confirms your cynicism of life and the world
you want to turn the clock back
and grow up - once again
So I re-post this beautiful poem
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To deepest dusk,
from morning sun
to twilight dreams
fantastic schemes
and lives that go awry
such shining hopes
such sudden twists from
bright to dark
from grim to grand
from joy to sorrow
always waiting for tommorow
and a twist of fate
a ray of hope
with the faintest sleight of hand
the alteration of all of life’s schemes
and all its scope..
all with one tiny turn
of life’s KALEIDOSCOPE.
Danielle Steel
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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