A feel of the days

There's a feeling of being akin to sand
Broken into grains of nothingness
Can hold no water
drifting away never finding any roots
just slipping away to nothingness
even the sea throws you far off itself

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When nietzsche said "The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time" he was right but thats for sweet memories.
Bad memory brings its own troubles . You never seem to be become immune to the bad things when they occur over and over again.You seem to hurt yourself for the same things over and over again.

I have a strange memory blackout problem amplified by a low confidence in my memory and my tendency to remain obscure.
When in a training class someone said SWOT analysis. All i remember is O and T expanded.It took me 30 mins to finally remember the S & W expansion.
And so i've never understood why i never trust my memory well enough .
There was a quote on the slide in today's training …a quote i easily know to be from Romeo and Juliet( Where else can one find a rose by any name) but i never respond on being asked.

When another class they ask if anyone has read "World is Flat" i find it prudent not to talk though i read it long back.
Then when someone puts across that poem i love "The Road not Taken" on a slide and tells that its an amazing poem and strange no one has read it and proceeds to read it, i find it unnecessary to comment.

I'm drifting back to a quiet nothingness i hopelessly prefer all over again.

I look back at anything past  and it seems something like this lovely Calvin stuff

Here's a picture of me when I was three. Look at that smile! Ahh, the arrogance of youth! I thought I knew everything when I was three. ….. Now, a lifetime of experience has left me bitter and cynical.
Funny how you miss out on things. Watched Sweet Home Alabama again.

A lil over 5 years ago we watched it at the end of a training program wherein we had to give opinions and all that stuff.
In my evergreen cynicism i found only one point  - The other guy in the movie who was being nice throughout anyways ended up a loser and hence it shows that most of the time you just accept that Life is unfair.

This time when i watched i pondered over a line i seemed to have missed last time.
"You cannot have roots and wings." The saddest part though is when you cant have both

I was searching for the exact quote and it seems someone else too has thought about the same…Funny some coincidences are just that but yet they i guess make you feel sane.

Last month i had taken two books which are not much in circulation at the Library - "A corner of a Foreign Field" and "The Brainfever bird" . When i returned them finally after nearly 2 months with me and a girl after surfing through all the library again picked those two I was a bit reflective , curious and sort of possesive too funnily of the books. And then she sees my pick for the recent month and enquires if i am taking it  or can she have it.

I'd have loved to talk more but she was with a chirpy crowd and so i am left to myself believing in my own normalcy as much as weird i seem to many these days.