And some work related nuisance

This isnt the first time and it wont be the last but I have my days when I properly turn
upside down all that I work for like a petulant child.
When I rarely used to draw something years ago I had this inbuilt , sketch my favorite rose very nicely and
then scratch it all over or in my best mood draw window rails all over it.
This post is just a rant , a record I am just posting - to look back how I never seem to grow up.

I just did not like it what was happening at my workplace.
I am countlessly told , oh you are appreciated - Good job what not but at the end of the day I have nothing to show for it.
But well thats a normal thing in corporate offices .

What bugged me was the reason for this was that this was because I was in the middle of a power struggle of
two or may be unknown to me three managers.

No one wants to fight and further a cause which does not benefit them directly.
The one who is benefitted is not in a position to further my cause directly.
And thus I end up sidelined.Well this is all again usual I guess.

What I do at such times is my very own style of stupidity.
Most people would simply go out look for a change and slam it in the face of such employers or
look at some brighter side in their life and trudge on in the same way.
I just go and talk nonsense and then feel hugely relieved about it.

After working from the scratch on something for 2 years because I was angry at this whole scenario
I just walkin and say I want to move out to some other department, and well they are thrilled about my asking for a move ,
but not from the whole department - we have so much in here... and so on and I talk back even more ridiculosuly - or may be not.

Ok do you want to do some development work ?

What dev after 6 yrs of QA - no I dont want to be your average developer.

Ok we have some work on blah blah...would you like to explore
No I dont want to do any exploration work at all .

Would you want to do the set up ...
No i dont want to set up anything anymore did fair enough of that

So your interest area in performance end would you want something on that.
No you product is too complex so they dont use tools and
do it like ...... I dont want that.
I did not want to mean that I did not like complex products but I guess they took it like that as it suited them

Ok so you want some new challenge
No i want what I am good at - no challenges anymore Ive taken enough

I did just some similar odd angry talkback like this some 3+ years back for moving out of a module - that I literally owned and was indirectly told to be the lead.

This process seems to keep me perennially stuck up at the same point in my career and well I have my moment of regrets
when I look back at my peers and all.

But they are just moments, they pass too quickly and after a good nights sleep I have to recall what the whole fuss was all about.
It just some well meaning friends who actually do the rub in or scratch the painful reminders.

For now I am like very chilled out.
See the best thing about all my outburst is I've practically announced - no longer rely on me,
and they know they havent much to offer unto me.

So while I did screw up my long term career prospects my short term mood prospects are so better.

But I console myself with that wonderful line

"In the long term we are all dead" - I am absolutely rooting for 2012 end of the world - ok at least for me.

P.S:one thing Ive learnt is we Indians are so conscious about who's the boss - always.
Everyone goes around saying we should not be taking orders from the US people when the whole workforce is here - we do the real
work and what not,but what no one says openly is while they can still swallow some US chap ordering them around in India - nothing embitters people as much as an Indian in US ordering them around .
I wish I just said that one line too. But then I know both sides are pretty much the same so I am glad at heart I managed pretty well.
So lets see how things work out from here.
P.P.S: Few months back when things weren't as bad in life as they are now I and my sister had shortlisted two places to may be visit
if we could save up.Thailand / Leh.
Thailand had the political unrest.Leh now has that cloudburst
It means nothing really and yet I feel so cursed even in my thoughts.