No Individual Rights - be it cricket/ Workplace

I did not want to write much on the Indian cricket drama…so sad it has been but yeah i am forced to for more reasons than one…because mostly when i hear it it seems less cricket and more Management stuff in general relating to workplace politics.

Like i saw walk the talk by Kumble and he spoke how just because a set of players go out for lunch or other places together does not mean they have a rift with the rest.

Well this is what i fail to convince managers of….why do we read up the management books of the west and apply them to ourselves miserably.
I m told one must interact with all the team members of a 40 member team well great ….cool but i do interact and help…but how in the world do you expect that 15 as in the Indian cricket team or 40 in say my team previously would hang out together and have fun.

Why do we have team building activities thrust upons us….playing ball and games will not make anyone like a person who talks shit or is a egotist or bores you with self falttery.
Yeah we work together comminicate and as long as i do that why am i supposed to be oh so chummy with them.

In fact in some cases may be i do appreciate the difference in the opposite person and admire it too but that still does not make me be chums with him/her because i may not fit in there.

Ever been a single sitting at team lunch among married people discussing kids and inlaws.It gets to you.
Ditto the opposite …ever been a busy married one sitting among a bunch of singles planning the next fun weekend.You hate it.
This is a way too simple example but there are many other reason why you have groups and will always be there.

Important thing is there should never be any disharmony about work and communication in general should be encouraged but that hardly means mass meetings at lunch or some games devised by a foreigner(read it as Self help books…Seven habits/ DeBono amd what not) with no knowledge of Indian sensibilities.

One or two day training or activities do not build a team…esp if the constituents are the real quiet people who are not very outgoing.
In fact i guess a better way was as in school they rotated the desks and so rotate the cubicles. At least with some time you know a person in general than as a game or a lecture tells you.

Things take time…oh yeah they do.But we like it all instant….well food can be …and so can be other things but with people instant stuff never works.

Next was the damned BCCI contract thing…..i heard about.

Isn’t it the same when the CEO of a business goes about acquisitions mergers and what not for business and money …well quite good…but the moment a employee resigns for money its not really seen in the same light.

How does an employer get a right to your personal time and space…..
Sack the players for bad performance …surefire…
but how can you take away their personal right to choose what they do with their personal time.
Next i guess there would be a clause in the contract….should not go out with any Bollywood actresses 1 month before a major series.
Its more like mothers telling children …sit at home and watch TV and rest the sun and dust is not good for you….and implementing it strictly.

Managers ask you why you need a leave where you will be….and no most projects we do insoftware are not some mission critical stuff where your lack of presence will drown millions or lives will be lost.

Managers want to be the first to know when you get married…is the guy from town…coz you may have to leave otherwise.

This whole Management lanaguage upsets you ……its apt they’ve started calling the new post a manager. Oh yeah professionals the great power point wielders.

Wonder if all Aussies stuff is to be followed by players why not go the whole hog and do what they did to Pawar.

Shove such politics and political people off and say Get moving!!!!

Some quite uncharitable and not quite right thoughts

These are some of my most uncharitable thoughts about the world's nicest things in general.They are my views as i see then standing where i am....they are nasty but yet i've never been able to think otherwise from what i've seen and observed. But lets start as the whole thought started ......its like some links strung by a strange thread and once the chain is formed one sees how strong the thread is that holds them together.

Across the web read some reviews of Nishabd (nah did not watch the moview)and some comments on them that made you wonder like real hard. They say a man of Amitabh's stature should not have done it...Why pray....Well its not right on his part to be like that...they say...hmm well point taken...but then i say ...its not right for him to have done Baghban...

I think a lot of what was defended by Amitabh in there was wrong. It was very well presented as if he was the grievously injured party but well..... Actually the scene was pointed out by my very own quick eye ...my sister coz...i usually dont notice much....She says hey what is the guy trying to feel bad about when people tired after working like slaves in offices want to have a good nights sleep the guy hammers on his typewriter and one is supposed to feel bad that he's asked to be quiet. he could have done that in the daytime .

But then that was a tailor made role for the ever right Amitabh...Actors and all uncles and aunt gush over how right and perfect his end of the movie speech was Welllll.
I wonder why the parents track of the suffering parents are ever missing in movies. Why is it not shown how wonderfully they managed to do time management between children office and parents.
Most movies show parents doting on children and they children grow up to be monsters who throw them out.....but while they were doting what about their own parents...is never shown.In fact the finest i liked in the genre was 'Kal aaj kal' wherein Raj Kapoor goes crazy by his father and son's demanding ways.And such is the position of most of todays' generation caught between two very radical generations.
This hardly means i feel one should not be considerate towards old people and be inconsiderate and throw then out....hardly but then dont the older generation also need to understand the changing realms of the world....that work ten years ago is not the same today.

When Dad came home those days work was like left at office ....can the same be said of work today...email cellphones and stress ...yeah people need to manage them true...but that needs support of the very people who complain of not enough care and attention.

Ok many things in there were over the board in the movie , esp hema malini's ever green concern which they add a track to justify .....but its fine as it was done with a good intention...is it???...maybe RGV says the same about Nishabd. Strange but could be true.(Some other time abt RGV's movies.)
The main point is what Amitabh or any great xyz does is his business and we are better off either enjoying it or shunning it...why claim rights over their choices.Why is he the custodian of our culture and morality. Sometimes i write why is Society so against individuality...but then i realise isnt Individual the opposite of Society.I guess thats about it.

Right and wrongs are based on the side you are standing, the view you have and the hidden and unhidden forces at play that create that view.
From where i stand and what i see i hate most charities.

General Charity...like those missionaries...So many of them get money and feed those half starving and about to die people food and clothing...and thats about it. They give them a life. How noble.But is living enough? Does happiness ...hope for a future beyond 2 square meals not count.
Ever seen outside melas , temples banks.....so many able bodies beggars....and people do their bit of charity by dropping a coin ...some even fifty to hundred ruppess and thats it. He still stands there for years after your regular deeds of charity .
Isnt't is more noble to give them the potential to earn food....no donations from businessmen dont help here ...jobs created by businessmen and getting some of these lazy people to work is noble. But thats not charity isn't it. Thats business...and we dont consider it much noble.
Animal Protection groups: Save them sure do i too like it...but when dogs become more important than humans you have to question?
I wonder if Maneka would say the same for dinosaurs too if they came to eat her. Ask her to come home at 10 in night in a dog infested locality and lets see how much she stands by her views.
Evironmental Issues: This ones my greatest dilemma....When i was a child used to watch some program on Sunday and yeah wished to be an environmentalist esp with my love of chemistry then. I love trees...i love forests...i despise those who fell trees but then i ask myself....
I live in a city with amenities and most of them cause pollution...then how can i prevent someone say from a village expecting the same and thus causing more pollution.Its like some one said US polluted all it could to become a dveloped superpower and now how can it prevent developing countries from doing the same. What exactly are the ethics of this argument. Very doubtful.

Save the girl Child...Ok done...Saved and she lives on...is that enough i ask again.
As i wrote previously tooWhy save someone to live a life of neglect , hurt and most importantly unwantedness.
Why grow a unfeeling biological specimen called foetus to a feeling humane being and then crush its spirit by reminding it at every point of that saved life - its deficiencies and its unwantedness.
Will the government or the womens groups make them feel wanted.....loved cherished.
NO...It is only when the one who bring her into this world want her can she belong truly to this world and live to be the wonderful being she was to be, does it make any sense to bring her into this world till then let em bury them.

Some SRT Nostalgia as Unfashionable as it is

This is something so precious a feeling i mostly wont put on my blog much....but came across a few posts and it brought back that overwhelming nostalgia and just for a memory of that feeling i write this post.This post is purely that nostalgic feeling .

Its been disturbing the way this whole campaign of drop Tendulkar drop Tendulkar is being conducted all round in the media....as much as you try to ignore it.Some use the reverse make him captain...ah more suitable to publicly humiliate...no please.

Oh well i do wish they drop him...at least for the Bangladesh tour please.So much unnecessary humiliation....lets have our young blood and lets see ....how fortunate this generation will be.
Its so sad how we love to put up a statue and then throw stones at it.

Our times were really fortunate...for all said and done we've had a wonderful time watching Sachin Rahul and Saurav until the media and finally Mr Chappell may seem to have succeeded in spoiling the whole thing.Divide and Rule someone said...Well!!!!

Watching Cricket has never been the same for me in the past 4 yrs since i started working but oh those days when i watched it....such joy was bestowed by this cricketer.

I came across the article by Rahul through Jaiarjun and can say i too share the same irrational feeling. Another link from the above blog to this lovely piece by Nirmal Shekhar.

Oh yeah drop him by all means but please don't negate or question the sheer happiness he brought to a few like us who unlike many remember.Yeah except this world cup the last 3 world cups it was he who shone and i remember it well enough.

Its true as pointed out by both “I could never be as EMOTIONAL about India as I have been about Tendulkar.”

I enjoyed it when Sehwag was hitting or Dhoni was slamming but it never
felt the same....i've never been emotional about it. It was good fun.But then they were the new heroes of the new set hooked onto contests and Mandira Bedi and what not..... not those who loved to hear Boycott and Harsha or even remembered those Henry Bloefeld Sharjah days of earrings.

Somehow rather than those multitude of Sehwag's or Dhoni's sixes the six i remeber best is the one by the most unnatural hitter of sixes...Mr Dravid to Allan Donald in South Africa.

Yeah this is all nostalgia. No ones asking this to be taken into account for our great team's selection and such high brow things but i do wish this demeaning and humiliation stops .

Don't worry he will retire he sure will later if not sooner and what a vaccum it would be ...nah not for cricket...it will find its own...but for the people and media who like to make gods and then malign them.

He is human ...... and thats why its so much more joyous.He is not the world's greatest cricketer anymore and may not be ( as hard as i find to say it) but he is someone who once brought more joy to more people than the world's greatest do even now.

some more blogs i read long ago and yet look back - and love
Like this

"We are really blessed to have been part of a time when we could witness someone like Sachin at full flow, and we are fully justified in flattering ourselves into believing that as long as he chooses to be around on the cricket field, there is a miracle round the corner, waiting to happen."

Ok many will quip ...yeah it did not happen the miracle.
Oh yeah...we don't believe in miracles as they say we actually rely on them -
so when they don't happen things go awry.

or this -

"Today, even though most believe he may not score many more 100s, should one doubt his intent? Questioning his intent is a slap at our belief and everything we once believed in. ........ And any good cricketer will tell you, the timings just not right. You either believe or you have never watched Sachin Tendulkar bat. Get a life. "

Oh yeah we sure had a good lifetime.

Oh well let me end this....rather than going on in my nostalgic drawl ...... thats why i stopped watching too much of the game ...last world cup in 2003 i got hooked again when i watched Sachin and was scared it would be repeated again in 2007 ..well if it were not for his probable last world cup i'd even bat an eyelid.....coz if without miracles pure cricket is to be considered India simply were never the best not even when they won it.
Its the miracles of certain days and some people that make this world so special.

A Nice Reply

There are times when you are so very lost in the wonder of something and someone or something so simply bring you back to reality .
There’s a quiet charm to it.

Read some lovely lines from somewhere and hence wanted to talk of it to a friend
——————————————–
Me: These lines are lovely isnt it
“Every novel is an equal collaboration between the writer and the reader and it is the only place in the world where two strangers can meet on terms of absolute intimacy.

I have spent my life in conversations with people I have never seen, with people I will never know and I hope to continue until the day I stop breathing.

It’s the only job I’ve ever wanted.“

You know what thats also the job that i want..you see i don’t even love writing in general(forget about code) as much as i love reading.But who would pay me for it hmmmm

Answer: True very true….and u know something…. lot of times… things that interest oneself are the ones which we have to pay for.

————————————————————

Ah i felt isn’t that what life and jobs all about…

Quite Nice an answer and i was out of my wonder of the lines as lovely as they were .

Weekend at Namastey London

As a movie it does not even give you a headache its simply unaffecting except of course in one or two parts where i was impressed…by the dialogues or the discussion.
Best was the argument between Rishi Kappor and his wife wherein he keeps blaming the wife for the daughter becoming as she has and the repartees by the wife are excellent about Indians in general and men in particular.

Parts where there is the statement how they want to live in a cleaner
London but want to keep up their own traditions.
The movie though at points is wonderfully honest…like when Akshay tells his father in law …that now that they are in London…he can’t do a thing …his own daughters complaint might land him in jail…pretty much implying that in India such complications are never an issue.

But other than that mostly its the same nationalistic triumphs and harping on India’s glorious past….and how foreigners can be never loyal and counted upon..and that love at first sight thing of Akshay in the movie sucks…and then that committed waiting….as if all Indian men would really wait for a runaway bride.

Somehow the movie reminded me of the book by Meera Syal…”Life isnt all haa ha hee hee”. rather than such movies about London or the expatriates i liked the realistic and ironic and comic potrayal of the trials , dilemmas and troubles faced by such. I guess there’s a BBC drama too on it.

The books showcases more deeply why a relationship with a foreigner or even someone from a different state or strata sometimes may really leave you regretting.
One beautiful example in the book is wherein Tania living in with a foreigner who’s quite nice and loyal but she observes how her friends husband calls her ‘Jaan’ and she misses it. For all that she has she misses the connection that word brings.

The different associations and falsities they live through.Best though i liked the way the character Tania in the book who pretty much never tries to look or be Indian in the traditional sense says……among people and places where they all try to find out about the exotic stuff and all associated with India…she says something to the effect “i don’t need to put in on or act it or learn it and prove it ….because i am the original…i am Indian”.

That is why the scope of books ever exceeds a movie but more than that these days whenever i see a movie i feel our new directors start off with a brilliant idea but don’t have the courage to follow it up and give in to the same tested formulas….hype jingoism and comedy for the sucking masses.I felt the same when i watched Honeymoon Travels. I
t was a nice story which could have been oh so much more and quite a few such movies these days which have some brilliant or honest part in them and then they get lost in the requisite ingredients of Bollywood.

Not that i dislike Bollywood formulas for a weekend fun if directed properly but one does wish that something more when you see a good idea.Takes time i guess…

Re reading 'A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth'

I first read it in a very beautiful setting a summer over 3 yrs ago in a university library with a individual table in between bokshelves beside a window overlooking the flowering bushes of mussandas.last month i got it from anothet library to home.My sister's amazed that i carried the heavy book to and fro to the library a journey of over an hour to re read it.

Its one of the most Voluminous books in literature and i honestly doubt how many people would have read it through end to end.Its way huge.But the wonderful thing is at no point while reading do you really regret its length..cause it does not drag, its pacy and moves in every page.

Its just that by the time you get to say part eight the delights of part two seem ages ago.

Its a book so very perfect for a TV Serial ...wonder why no has yet come up with it ...i did read somewhere about it being considered.I hope and imagine it will be like ne of those older Serials like Buniyaad or even Sailaab and not the Ekta's Glossies.

Somewhere i read Vikram Seth saying that Mrs Rupa Mehra was one of the best characters he created...well at least its as realistic as they come.She's even more perfect than Mrs Bennet of Pride and prejudice and so very typically Indian,
as that is how so many Indian girls may see their mother " so well meaning, and well wishing " but neverthless a strain on life and peace and cause of the most unintentional hurt.
The tantrums for attention, the constant worrying, the complains, the command...the overplay of social necessities and vanity.
Her inconsistency in judging people by how affectionate and respectful they are towards her shows a innocence that may be funny to read but very painful in real terms.

The subtle family and extended family politics ......the part of economics and emotion in the powerplay in families is depicted in such subtle ways without ever getting vindictive at any point.
That is why books are a delight they allow you to see so many sides views unlike lets say the umpteen soaps on Tv each on the same theme family and power politics but all have those black and white perfect and dark characters that it gets on your nerves.

Mrs Rupa mehra's association with the book Gita (i.e the the way she never bothers to understand or practice what is said but just values and worships it and reads it as its presence is a solace )depicts what really is the way relegion is actually practised as by most of our families - men and women.Its a center around which life can be lived and any problems one can comfortably recede into.

The book potrays people as simply on the surface as one can imagine and thats why its so long......only in parts it goes benath the surface ....because most of the time we live life on the surface by brushing under everything uncomfortable.
So much of the flash or alienness we feel about characters in many books is missing. Every character you would have either seen of can easily imagine.It is the small hidden stories in life we all live in in our hearts, in the evryday humdrum and bore of life.It is about compromises people make with life and its fallacies.

Some compromise easily like Savitha.
Some compromise with time tempered by life like Lata.
Some force the compromise as thats the only way of life ....like Mrs Rupa Mehra
Some never compromise and wander and even wither or harden away in heart ..... and may be life with deep pain in the heart.

The books is filled with instances how difficult it is to categorize humanity...the same people who have one set of values in one environment easily do the opposite in different.It depicts how time deeply affects people and their perceptions and their compromises.

One incident is when Prem Kapoor who is quite secular and will never allow his wife to have Ram Lila organized at home despite her repeated pleading would organize it after her death though no one asked for it.

Lata's thoughts about each of the suitable boys reflect somewhere how some people who have choices end up with what seems to many as a most unsuitable choice .The affections one feels has nothing to do with the most important business in life - marriage and ,somehow it takes Mrs rupa mehra and time and life to make Lata see it.

Its a nice read her plain inability to see Amit into anything tangible despite her liking for him and how she says he's too similar to me.

Her compromise to the extent of not even hoping that things would work out between her and Kabir after once being hopeful of eloping with him when she says "Ours won't work...No one will let it work" is a great effect of time .

When i had first read the book some 3 years ago i had pondered upon this as the real reason why arranged marriages happy happy or unhappy on the facade work as everyone who has anything to do with it wants it to work......the issues are negotiated compromises affected with whatever the humane price .
Quite the opposite of a marriage against the consent of the primary arrangers in a family wherein every every flaw is magnified , every misunderstanding is fuelled by people (who have innate resistance to individual decison instead of the collective) who as lata says "No one will let it work".

Mrs Rupa mehras' insistence on reading letters to her from Haresh her fiancee as a demand based on her affection, and goodwill as mother .

how she she fells deeply disrespected and countered by lata's simple refusal of that is comic but so very typical and true .

I could go on like the book does but then its a book with nothing new or daunting or anything that streches you mind.
Its a book about how one's simple ways complicate other's simple wishes....and why as is said in it
"Life isn't always a question of justice isn't it".

Of course as i blogged earlier one line that kinda stuck on in mind was way too simple "You can't run four runs everyday"

Its lovable as only simple things can be and re reading it in parts is a simple pleasure one can always have - if only you did not have to carry such a heavy load.

Our Cricket - Shakespearean Dramas

Time changes us some say
It does not it only unfolds us some say.....I am not sure and it surely can be a matter of another post but yeah times have altered perspectives truly.

There was a point in time years ago when half of what happened yesterday had happened. India were knocked out of the semi final in 1996....it was a moment for grief...it was funny how passionate one can be when young.Sort of remind me of those lines from the poem "Evening Solace"

But, there are hours of lonely musing,
Such as in evening silence come,
When, soft as birds their pinions closing,
The heart's best feelings gather home.
Then in our souls there seems to languish
A tender grief that is not woe;
And thoughts that once wrung groans of anguish,
Now cause but some mild tears to flow.

And feelings, once as strong as passions,
Float softly back ­a faded dream;

Well so yesterday it was sort of very cool this time ...somehow quite expecting them to lose...only some part of the old heart buried deep peeped out for miracles.
But reality sure was the flavor of the day and at no point was there any belief that India would be through...and the team did nothing to change that.
Sad part is unlike those days when some or the other unfortunate thing could be ascribed to failure...umpires ...pitch..here it was so plain blunt clear we were just not good enough. Something had somehow blunted out the passion of the whole team....Somehow i usually even in worst moments dont imagine Sachin out but felt so casually that it was gone and thats how it was - gone.

Somehow it seems fitting and actually good that India is out. The whole real passion has died out i felt ...sometimes i ask it it in general or specific to my being old enough to always reflect back on the older days.
I had only one reason to even bother to watch this world cup(huh bother ...there were times i dared not use such a word about watching cricket.) ...this would be the last World Cup of probably the generation of cricketers we grew up on.
Sachin Sourav and Rahul.I agree they did not do well here and if some
says drop them oh well please go ahead do it.

I just have one question in mind though ....and that is the matter of this whole post. Its a job for them in the end and lets say we do badly at our job at some time or actually most of the time......or rather not as well as say someone else is doing how many of us will go ahead and resign?

But yet we clamour that one should retire or give up.I too felt passionately many times esp in the past and do say stupid idiots when they ruin the whole day by some horrid stuff.....should be given one tight slap and other expletives but problem starts when one starts beleiving in them as super heroes.
They would be playing cricket in whatever way they can good or bad just like quitely our other sportspersons play their sports if we did not love them and the game as much...We put them up as heroes as there's nothing as easy because our lives lack them in reality but when they turn out as vulnerable as us we hate them with vehemance.

"They are responsible for a whole set of fans who suffer so many things and watch them and love them" ...
yeah i said that a decade ago.
I wonder to what extent today would one take as much responsibility for the job you work just because all team members and leads adore your work and depend on you...but something somehow needed presently were were beyond the capabilities possessed.

They are humans just like you and me ....and if you ask me a bit better than you and me...cause i am not sure how many among us can resist the huge temptations that are offered to this bunch of cricketers by us or in us the fans name by the real businessmen of this world.

This is not to defend their game but to defend their right to live beyond their job....
Yeah i still say they deserve to value their job a little more and keep up its spirit because after all how many of us have the fortune of having a job we love and enjoy.

One good thing about their losing is this....

This match despite so much money on it in the end was NOT FIXED...
why simple for anyone who watched it.
If India had won almost everyone would have somewhere ascribed it to being Fixed.
Whole day prior to the match i was sick of hearing ..."these bunch of jokers no good will lose if the match is not fixed."

Yeah Sad a relatively(this word is very important) nice bunch of cricketers who gave us joyous moments once will retire without fulfilling dreams....... neither theirs(honestly even a cricketer who might be a match thrower sometime would like to win the world cup once
cause that is the dream you begin career with) nor our dreams fulfilled.

I guess thats why so many writers say cricket is the closest to Life in its intricacies and fortunes...and its Tragedies....and Comedies.

And India Pakistan take it somehow to the heights of Shakespearean Drama.Woolmer's murder confirms that.........Its unbelievably tragic......and somehow so very Shakespearean i guess.

Flowers of India....

There are somethings you come across once in a while and you feel so much gratitude and happiness. They are such simple and silly things some may say,....but neverthless
I had already blogged about how i wished to find about names of certain flowers i see esp the local names and so on here.
In those days i probably spent hours and rupees of carefully allocated time and money on internet searching for something like this and never did find it.Sometimes i used to look them in the University library but how mch can you find in a university thats more a technical one. Then last month i found the site http://www.flowersofindia.net/ by sheer chance . Its a lovely site and it wonderful to see some on compile it so lovingly.Flower names in Indian languages with pictures.

Like it was so nice when i saw that blue flower i often looked at and wondered what to call ..... it is called "Aparajita" or Butterfly pea.Sadly very few people know the Indian names . We are so used to the names we read in English.

And one tree i always wanted a snap beneath but never seemed to happen somehow is this very pretty Amaltas. Its so very pretty.

Or there's a flower that i sort of loved a lot as it has memories of my childhood. The harsingar or Parijat...the orange white flowers we used to pick when we were children.
There's this stupid fantasy of standing beneath it while they fall down all spoiled by my friend when she remarked...oh there are way too many worms and insects in that tree they all will fall too. Now i'm too scared to try anything like that ever.
But In the last home i lived there was one just outside the gate and every morning i used to find my path strewn with them.
Here's a pic i took then.Hmm i miss em......

Its so wonderful to be able to put in such effort and come out with such a site. It looks like nothing much but i am sure it gives immense personal happiness. Just seeing the site made me quite happy.

Some Tickly observations

This weekend seems to be dissapearing nowhere lazily browsing around and and wondering at the ironies.
On the eve of India's WC match i casually said arre ab bangladesh ke saath dekhna bore hoga...my sister remarked instantly "how dare u say that about india. They treat everyone equally" .
When around the 20th over i switch off the TV confirmed about the disaster awaiting and say to her u should be careful about speaking all my sister has to say is "indian hun indians ko jaanti hun" hmmmmm
During the 1994 World cup i remembered during the time when semi final matchups were not clear my friend had remarked arre if its Srilanka in the Semi Final then cup is sure fire India's . Haaaa we still remember that line....never again anyone spoke as such for Sri lanka.
Just as SriLanka was in those days nurtured by India slowly... so are Bangladesh too being nurtured into International Cricket by India...Definitely.

Tickle's been huge fun at times for me and i sort of agree quite a bit...esp on stuff i wouldn't admit easily like this one
What Are You Afraid Of?
you are most afraid of moving forward
This means that your fears are strongest when it comes to change, success, or personal commitment. When you are afraid of moving forward, you are allowing yourself to stagnate in your comfort zone.
This fear may manifest in myriad ways, but at its center is the sense that you're either unwilling or unable to get to the next level in life. You may have grown up feeling that good is always followed by bad. Or perhaps you subscribe to the belief that what goes up must come down. Whatever the reason, when things are going well — or even just all right — you would probably prefer to maintain the status quo than to take a risk. You might fear that one false move could take away all the happiness and security that you've worked for. You may also simply be afraid of facing the unknown. When forces outside of you push you to change, your tendency can be to become overwhelmed or to stay in denial.
Love or money
When it comes to love or money, you're a Romantic Realist
Love over money is a no-brainer for you because you're a Romantic Realist. But no matter how smitten you are, you know love doesn't pay the bills.
Your monthly budget, diversified portfolio, and penchant for bargains may sound predictable, but it doesn't mean you're not afraid to take a risk every now and then. Whether it's your new leather pants or that brooding stranger in the corner, you are entitled to your treats. But for you, true love is a long-term investment that has nothing to do with the trust funds and everything to do with trust.

Oh well some common wishes

well I happened to mention to someone that i have lots of materialistic wishes left and hence not
yet feel like charity . ...which required an explanation......
Well actually i am quite uncharitable why will be a seperate post.

So as they say time changes everything so here for this time what i think are my materialistic
wishes.
Firstly i ask myself am i materialistic ....well not exactly i know
but i wish i was ...life is so simple that way.

I am soo swayed by emotions ......and to have it my hearts way if i can which is mostly never
i try swinging it using all logic...thats the way i seem to have become these days.

Materialism if if only if that were the only thing is so simple and defined.

Anyways what is materialism ...is it being money oriented...Well lets put it my way as of today.
Its not money that is loved...its is the sheer ease of life it brings in so many ways especially
in a country like ours.
Money buys you the most inavaluable thing of all "TIME"
of course more so if dont spend the time earning it...huh sadly its not so in my case.

Money allows you to hire a cook a maid and hence time and energy saved.
Money allows you travel with ease esp if you dont even have to drive again time saved.

Actually money even saves you the trouble of being charitable...they just deduct a small part
from your salary and you are contributing to charity(How terrible can corporate culture
get....if ur not interested remove your name from list on the intranet....huh as if one is going
to do that )

Now in the Time saved if you love to doze off or watch prettier things in this world instead of
making this world a better place done by charitable people in that time saved you are
MATERIALISTIC i guess .

All the materialistic things specifically i can think of is a lovely house which i wish to spend
a lifetime filling with all the pretty little things i love to shop around.

I used to have this dream of a very small house with a very big garden...with the real estate
prices the way it is its sooo far off. Hard to own an apartment forget a house with garden wellllll.

I'd love to just wander and travel all around the world....or live in some nice beautiful cottage
in the flowery hills(ok thats a straong Ruskin Bond stories influence)......
and this needs money yeah yeah you can go around the world in just a few dollars or whatever but
i mean for real without looking like a freak which needs what MONEY.
Money means you avoid nosy neighbors , colleagues who need explanation of what and why
where you come and go and offending them is a strict no no due to family and that extended
family called Office.

I dont add my absolute crazy idea of owning books almost like a library with glass shelves
ahhhhhh...this just doesnt seem materialistic in anyway ...books cant be associated with
materialism no not in my mind.
And anyway i will fulfill that dream anyway one day though with my progressive myopia(Doctors
they are the most scary people in this world to me with the terms they hand to me) how much i
will be able to use them by then is another thought.
But i trust in science as well miracles so that should be just fine.


Of course to each their own .......
My sister really beat me to it when after quitting her job standing at the balcony she said.”You see that building i m sure that is a office stupid people why did they not build it fast so that i could have tried a job here...i'd have worked for a few bucks less. So nice so near to our house.
Come home for lunch have a sleep and go....kya life hotaa..
I dreamt of this since school days when schoolmates living behind school used to go for lunch.”
The kids been as lazy since ages then its proved....but she made a wise choice unlike me
HR is the place to be for such wonderful dreamers like her.

Weekend Browsing around

I have a very good habit... whenever i have to meet a friend and then
plan how to spend the time i usually prefer to set the meeting point at
a bookstore or mall with a bookstore. It saves me a hell lot of
impatience and irritation with my friends because most of them are
lazier than me and never come on time. Rather than calling them and
asking them to hurry up or feeling bad about being stupid to turn up on
time and wait...i actually make myself so comfortable in the bookstore
that even if they don't turn up my day has been well spent.

Such was the case this weekend. As i browsed around the bookstore...it has been long actually this time...since my last visit to a bookstore.

So i looked up all the new books ...i always try following a pattern but thats about it TRY. my eyes sort of never want to do it so methodically...they love an absolute quick scan and then wander around to their interests. Books with lovely covers...interesting themes or reviews i'd read about.
The new cricket world cup book shaped like a ball and such stuff in new arrivals.

I also have this so very queer habit of a very stupid game i play with myself. Close your eyes and open a page and whats the first word or line you glance(I used to try this on the dictionary at home earlier). Anyways a book which has been praised a lot i guess i will look it up some day is " The Last Song of Dusk ' by Siddharth Dhanvant Sanghvi...I'm delaying it mostly because it seems so exotic but i tried my little fun on this book there.

It was a lovely line which i read goes something like the below...i've forgotten the exact line
" may be thats what Innocence was meant for - to be lost and may be that is how love essentially is - something to be longed for "

I guess i agreed quite a lot and liked it enough to decide to read the book at the first chance .

Then for the moment i started off reading "Inspite of Gods" in there...again a interesting book...i mean even the title is nice Inspite of....

You really have to know Indians and India well to use that word INSPITE ...they succeed inspite of all oh so many things....not because of them...though after success we always say the reverse....."that it is the GOD ...that it is the well wishers and good intentions of all and sundry".

Hmm finally i wandered off sometime into the Glass and candles and such artifacts segment...my favorite. I do love clear glass and all the shapes its moulded into..something again i feel crazy about with no specific definition.
God bless those people who once in a while let you wander in peace without that wonderful gesture " May i help you ".

Then at last arrives my friend and she just has to ask hows life and i start off all the dramatic stories of my professional pains.
Finally i realise we had met actually to discuss her side of the story and so i keep my mouth shut and she tells her tale....ah well its the same with a different twist.
Then we wander off into a artifacts expo and i feel like immersing all my hurt in the beauty of the oh so many lovely things and i shop...well i look more than i shop...and its a torture for my company at such places...she inevitably says...you are worse than me at such shopping.

I advise her to leave for the day ...as i'll spend some more time...she's so nice not to leave me but i oh so wish she did...as we leave half way through.
My sister at home adds the perspective to it. well your friends dont know you love to wander off and browsing/shopping all alone and so may be she'd have been imagining how bad it feels to leave a friend and go and hence did not go but you have such strange ways. Ummm yeah.

This year though is gonna be very lonely i had though at the begining and it sure seems to be going on the same way.Friends move on to different places...different worlds...i'm moving on ...
or rather should move on.

Not all who wander are lost....not all who are lost wander i guess

I am amazed at people who remember every joke from movies seen decade ago and actually it seems the only timepass for quite some....an evergreen rehash of the jokes esp in regional cinema. I feel inadequate to comment on this being good or bad them but yeah a whole of them are not to my taste. I mean relating every thing in life to some movie comedian.
I saw some last hour of this movie and well it was a nice one of a different era. What i remember
is though some of the last lines of the movies. rarely do i remember dialogues from movies or
even books. Some just strike a chord......and just stay on.
One was this from the movie "Monalisa Smile"

Not all who wander are aimless
"I've heard her called a quitter for leaving......an aimless wanderer. But not all who wander are aimless. Especially not those who seek truth beyond tradition...... beyond definition..... beyond the image."

Re-read this again and considering my aimless feeling it sort of touches.I deny that i seek some
great truth or want to make a difference but yes i wander in my own spheres of mind,aimlessly in
this very sharp aiming world for some reason something beyond my words.......some thing that i
seek out beyond what seems traditionally perfect..it is not selfless...in fact it is something
very selfish.At least ive been very clear on that in the past few years of my life.Yeah i seek to wander out but when i cant in reality i seem to wander in my mind and hence have been aimless.
Anyways that led me to the original quote...thats the charm of google for me
All that is gold does not glitter,
not all those who wander are lost;

Another very nice point i pondered upon......

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's
self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance,
learn so easily; and why older persons, especially if vain or important, cannot learn at all.-Thomas Szasz,author, professor of psychiatry

Why even even the best after a point stagnate.Self esteem's not a bad thing to have unlike a
super ego but for learning further yes even self esteem may be need to be sacrificed at some
time......only point here remains how much and of what you are willing to learn.Ignorance can be bliss in oh so many cases....Learning is painful.
Choices...its all our choices....
to be meek, nice to others and lose oneself...to be kind and get pained....
to be brave for oneself and may be hurt others.......
to give up a lifetime's peace for a moments charm.....
to give up own dream for a chance to be a part of someone's dream.......
to wander...to lose....to be aimless.

Hyper emotional day

You tell yourself that you’re professional

You’ll take things in your stride

You seen quite enough of corporate workplace/jargon

You’ve gotta give it straight to them

And yet if you’re emotional

You just are it

After a whole range of self motivating nonsense

You know it when you almost

Have a lump in the throat due to being upset during an appraisal meeting.

No one knows and would know that its actually an after effect of

The messy past week in my life and not this bloody appraisal discussion.

But heck why did it have to be triggered at that moment.

Probably that’s why I don’t practice this useless nonsense of telling myself all’s gonna be well when it isn’t.

It all comes off pouring out at all the wrong moment and then you seem so stupid and vulnerable.

I hate myself 2 hrs after being in those ultra emotional moments. But it’s the way I’m wired. Too old for change….But aren’t old people supposed to get calmer and have a hold on their emotions. Hmmmmmm

Areas of improvement: Positivity among many more

Sure Sure I need it because if had that honestly I doubt I would have been sitting there, I ‘d have gone out and found a positive response but I lived on with my fears my negativity …not that the events in the past week have helped me be any more positive.

But I hate myself …… heck how could I be so like deeply hurt and emotional….talking with people whose business is to be unemotional in the most emotional way.

Reasons

After my fiasco's in the past month of useless strain and much more
everyday rigmarole at home of being good for nothing ....except hanging on with the PC

You need a reason to live....is thrown at me indirectly esp at home..... you need to be good something or at least strive relentlessly
for being that ...after all trying is what matters say people.

Ok so what you are good at is what i ask myself.....
Well ummm being good at nothing disqualifies you for life is it???

I am working for a living or to secure a living when i probably wont

even be able to do that...there's nothing i love about it.

No i never wanted to be great anything...engineer/team

member/friend/wife/mother/friend/daughter
not even a great writer if you ask me as much as i love books.

I dont want to be at the center or at the front bench anywhere
dont want to be noticed , commemded and such.
I dont want to leave any footprints on the face of this world...if

possible i want to erase mine.
I have no grand dreams....no vison of transforming this world.

And yet i live....

Sound Monstrous well almost...

A reason to live...is what i am supposed to look at

Well i've tried some but what do you do when you just don't feel like

them.
Do self hypnosis like...no i want to be great...
i will be good employee/daughter/citizen this / that...thats

ridiculous..its like the same high people i guess feel having some some

drugs....i am wonderful kind of feeling
why manipulate what you feel.....

I am what I am
Why do we need reasons.......
is whats beyond me ..........
but well so many things are way beyond me

```````````````````````````````````````````````````````````
Anyways a beautiful line i remembered from somewhere

Mana ki is jahan ko na gulzar kar sake
Kuch khar kam to kar gaye guzre jidhar se hum

[ Accepted that i could not make this world a beatiful flower garden

but did decrease the no of thorns on the path i walked ]

A few notes to remember

You just know it when you had a disastrous interview .....
Well at least i do .....
....they were quite nice....i was like terrible

Well neverthless i needed it....
it was a reminder
go where you are good at....
not where its good to be.

I attended another which was kinda better but i simply lost it at the end as the requirements did not match the expectation and the resume. They dug up the skill set too much.
6 yrs ago difference between abstract class and interfaces was like u could speak half asleep....now its like i blanked out.I remembered it while returning in the auto.

As it is i lack memory and these thing simply blow me over...
its dead hard to memorize the simplest things....
even the code to click a button.....ha ha ha.

Also i remembered that however good something might have been they dont last....Nothing lasts forever....not even Sidney sheldon....whatever.

And when things arent good just drift....
it doesnt help to fight with a retarded memory and mental agony.

So now that after this disaster i,m home taking a leave
what do i do...make notes of this kind post em and do what ....


Hmmm like
its been so long since i blogged a piece in general that i like rather than my sob stories

Lets think of some better things

This would be the last world cup of probably my generation....STARS at least.. i still have that Outlook issue from college days almost 2 world cups back i guess or less. One with Sourav Sachin and Dravid as Trinity.....Ha Haaa how things've changed...and how i have...i still have not seen the schedule completely this time aur ek zamana thaa ki i almost had it by heart.


Its been sooo tiring this nonsense of trying to memorize code that its been soo long since i read what i love .....Fiction.
So go open that bulkiest of bulk books by Vikram Seth which i read once a whole week sitting in the library of a university i enrolled for PG diploma in communcation .And relive that fursat ke din.....well not fursat may be but well you could make time.

Uncertain Times Certainly...

Ok well things have gone as haywire and yet as fearfully expected.The fears come true so dont fear them hmmm is that what it is ….ahhhh whatever.

In There i used to be like the center of most happenings at work…and i said i am fed up being surrounded by same set and at center and moved in here……. a perfect novice ….appearing actually more quiet , unsocial, strange than i actually am(of course relativity is a factor everywhere).

I seem to be nowhere and noone. Well not bad for me cause i am not very fond of being at the center in general its always been the backstage and backbenches that interested me. Only problem is if you want the money out here they say get on stage… and play along…and well now actually it is the only issue .
Now i know all who knew me in there where i stayed due to my inertia problem would say why did you give it up all and go there to start from a scratch…see this is what would happen…as if i had not contemplated it. I sure foresaw it and still made the choice.
I dont like it here nor do they like me in here.Cool…but well i thought lets see how it goes but then on friday they gave me a good excuse to move me into somewhere still new…AArgh.
Firstly for 2 yrs i never moved and now in 2 weeks …2 new places for me….huh. Not that i mind yet….till i see what the workload is like.
But the greatest tragedy on my resume is this….i am in such dilemma …which shall i put on it for the interview.
Unlike others who are good at either A /B/C. I am just familiar with all A and B and C but expert in none coz never got to work real time full fledged on any more than 2 weeks basic ramp up. So should i go for an interview fo A /B /C. Or may be just play along with these put her here / there game.

Though i must say she put it elegantly….

“you see in the x proj there is a crunch need and they want some one commited(i.e stupid to stay stuck for two yrs in same place) and i was asked how are you i said she’s very good and all”

All this was said in 5 seconds like rapid fire so that shows how it was meant . I was too quiet for my new hyperactive and ever food loving lead. Added to it i continue to hang out with my old friends from my different project a floor away and hence not mingling greatly with the team…. “a team that eats together esp snacks stays together” is the theme .

I though essentially beleive its my fault…i did not go simply because the bunch was a group of lucky freshers …they got a great technical project while starting off so very glum and surprised anyone who’s not familiar with their technology is suddenly senior engineer.

More importantly too investigative kind….i mean i honestly don’t know how to fend off such people at work or rather people with whom you are supposed to get along with.

I am new here and need help getting around with what are called known issues in projects s o i need to get along with people who’ve been here long enough to know the known issues. Now i have this lovely girl…very smart and investigative out of college a year ago and here’s the blantant drill she gave me with her demanding and coyish smile.

She:Are you a ASE or a SE

Me:I am an SSE

She:Uhu …since when are you here…..Oh so what is your salary

Me:xxxx

She:Oh so when did you have you appraisal, how much did you join for

Me:xyz

She;Oh so You had experience in other company too before ..oh where was it,how may appraisals you had then.

Me:Er wait i have to finish this …will talk later

In 2 minutes flat she got info off me so blatantly…i mean normal circumstances no one could even have dared ask me such questions directly….but such is what happens when you are supposed to gel in a team .

Thus i am glad if i am looked upon as unsocial and quiet and one who leaves on time. Out here they love the office and works a great excuse…most of them leave together…what bonding.

Now all this is cool with me …if only if only…….. all this would not affect the only reason i work at this software hell….my paycheck. Heck it does and so i want a way out….which way is the problem as i mentioned above A/B/C.

Things seem bleak now though……i remind myself the way i am wired i dont remember liking any place since school itself when its new….and remember all good things 6 months later. Thats the only solace.

So very fed up kind of mood that even did not feel like shopping but just went along with sis taking leave early at office once i heard of my new confusions there and what ho i got tickets somehow just on a hunch for “honeymoon travels.” Well not a bad movie though there’s hardly any story its more like an introduction of all the couples…it was a nice concept if only they wanted to tell a story.

What anyway felt great was that we got the direct bus home instantly after the movie…no wait… and well what a releif that can be.

And then i laze around on weekend worrying about all stuff and end the weekend with this post staring into a very uncertain week ahead.

Incoherent Lines .....

What do you write when you can never write coherent phrases or sarcastic lines or cynical venom . You end up writing some strange poetry beyond your own understanding at times and sometimes its like silence.
One wishes silence could last.

At times i used to look at certain abstract paintings and wonder …
heck does even the painter know whats he had in mind
when he painted it.

It is at such times that i either don’t listen to music or listen to the loudest incoherent music….then i wonder may be that why so many people most of the time prefer loud blaring incoherent music.
They just want to forget…

I wish i could too ….
I wish i could learn to compromise…
“Compromise is the end of dreams”
I wish the dreams end
Or do i ???

Anxiety, Hope, Despair….over choices

Its again one of those times anxiety is like my top priority .Added to it i am not sure what to be happy about and what sad.
Finally I am moving from my project...well considering the hue and cry i make about it i should be happy but then..............
Two years of getting used to something(may be cribbing about it also became a habit) is hard to let go.Cant say i loved the work...i did not but yes sort of it started belonging to me ..the project over a period of time.

More anxiety ??????? what am i getting into ?????
How will the people be in the new project ????
Its difficult i felt when i got introduced into the new team...that floor is kinda sooo quiet...
staring into those monitors..... compared to our project floor where we actually love to speak either loud or in hushed up secretive tones.
Actually more than anything thats what the anxiety stems from. New technology and all may be like slowly but surely grasped have some inner confidence about that....but if people are not of the kind i am ok with then what.

So was it ok to give up on a whole set of privileges gained over time and open yourself up for appraising worthiness yet again ??????

Yet again you start from the scratch.....If you could be a little absolute business like its so simple to jump around from company to company ....but what if you can't afford/dare that.

Such simple issues yet so complex i make em........
I dont know i did feel bad...very upset probably about leaving a bunch of people so suddenly ...its just downstairs but yet its never the same sitting around in the same bay....or saying hi and all such once in a while.
I guess for all my talk i am eternally stupid...
i hate farewells and though i laugh em off....i really really hate em.
I did wish i had left the company itself but things sort of dont work as i plan ever and so many diversions...no one to blame but myself....in the end.

Don't know how it will be........heck i hate it...the way it was.....all come up and say hey congratulations..."uve got it"( its that hard to get out of our project to other projects...most ppl leave the company..the easier way).
I was feeling lost it was too sudden...i was asking for it since 3 months in a tone they finally perceived as a real threat and on Friday morning i was told ....ur off...go join there.
Its sort of unnerving.....

But i hate farewells...though they are my destiny...as soon as i get comfortable somewhere i suddenly (yeah its always sudden) have to move.

Just when i got used to my school dad got transferred.
Just when i got used to one hostel ...it was time to move.Just when i got used to my first job....
I resigned on a sudden note.Just when i and dear friends had enough time/money to have fun they get married/go to US.Just when i could sleepwalk through my work....

I am moving to a new project wherein i have to re-check my vision and get a new pair of glasses to finish off things.
It leaves such a sad feeling ...yeah yeah...youve to move on.
As they say you move on.I will...i always do....but as of today its that weighed down feeling.
Lovely poem was all i could think of

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood .........................

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

what kind of difference........lets see...it would be on this blog i guess.

Some everday nuggets kind of define days

Last Week:
An auto driver literally shouted back and demanded higher price and you realise how vulnerable one can be to bullies....all said and done about arguing and fightbacks.

Like today:
My Lead after telling me that finally i would be releived from the project...smiles and we get on
to general topics and says "whats happening in the project i was asked by some other leads u know yamini and all i can say is marriages... so when's yours?" i am asked..... I just smile and its clear at least being in the same place....when you stand in the same place
you can know it ....
The answer was never given by me but spoken by the questioner themselves
" oh i know you will ask when's yours"

I again smiled and said "well that was an expected question so i did not bother to ask."

We live very different lives of similar issues.....
What can avoided by being on that side has to be fought every minute by me....
What can be avoided by being on this side taunts her every day.

She's not what one can call a right people manager and i criticize her quite some here and all
over the place but if you ask me to rate her as one hell of a fighting person in life i'd rate
her very high.But who cares...

Problem is people have a habit of getting personal ....and i never know how to tell my bunch of
friends to stop that without getting into a debate which would again end up on a personal side.
So best shut up....
I just feel so upset when you are having a simple discussion about how she's not managing
things right or is a control freak and people simply instantly attribute it to her being single .....

Visited a wedding and one lady happily married at least as per her says " Women should get married at right time else they become saddists " obviously directed towards the Lead.
Then a guy smiles and says "exactly thats what i keep saying
everyday."(He once had commented to me a jobless guy and a unmarried gal is a sure recipe for
sadists...his experience he says)

Ah what lovely people i live with smilingly....
my smiles for the moment simply make no one consider me to be categorized in there (or what i dont know......its a source of constant wonder to me...the immense affection i receive from such a set of people...the blind eye my such friends turn towards me as if i am an exception for the moment to every rule....though at no point are they willing to debate on the rule.)
but then i am not a LEAD.
It is the people high up there that mud and stones are thrown at.

It is not that i cant argue with such .... but point is to each their own .... some of these people young freshers and old alike are so immature as people that i feel its stupid for me to
start any kind of serious discussion with them.
Its better off discuss our brainless movies and shopping and seem as stupid.

Well thats my choice i guess... or rather thats the only way...no choice.
But soon i will too have to move .... may be slowly ...may be i will delay the ascent...may be
fate will...but as i move up so will the stones and mud flinging start . It will i expect it to.

But still while i am extremely infamous i feel in the eyes of sr management for having a
tendency to have hushed group meetings all over the office in coffee room/ at my desk / in
corridors /...
I feel one can so clearly and wonderfully criticize a person's work and attitude
and all without getting personal.Problem is all people love to think themselves as psycho analysts who deduce why a person is as such ....pah.... though they never look at themselves.

Then again i wonder why am i defending a person who is always making people get personal saying team must be like a closely knit family. She asks people in feedback to know all about the
family members of the team for team building.....its obvious they come out of the meeting room
and joke well lets have her details first.

When you say you need a leave for personal reasons to a LEAD it should be just that "PERSONAL". Why act as a great confidant and ask details forcefully.

Discretion is very important in management.
How can you ask a guy/gal who is getting married why do you need 20 days leave 10 days is just fine.Obviously they will be upset and talk like 'Heck she doesn't get married hence what would she know'.
These are nonsensical cheap comments but so are people mostly and hence discretion and
tact is so very important in minimizing some hurts to both sides.
Good Intentions never suffice.
" THE ROAD TO HELL IS PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS "

It probably was witha good intention she asked me to consider growth within the project than start from a scratch elsewhere but then i just wanted it my way...... i might as well suffer/regret for my own mistakes than someones's good intentions.

Tough Jobs of Managers...Hence No for Lazy Bloggers

Sometimes you make those decisions in life and then regret them and then sometimes you dont
regret ...you just ponder ponder and then conclude you'd probably do it the same all over again.
Well have been pondering over quite many of such decisions.....
Like one was when i decided growing up into the management echelons of this boring Project was not my cup of Tea.........though being the only Senior member left in here and
with quite some of the new experienced hires lacking communication abilities i had a great chance .
But i put myself out of the game even before it began....
I wanted a change in the next few months... I told my PL.
Hard to digest expression as ever from there but somehow it kind of ended there and
so in came a new TL a new hire.
Now This has become a classic case of "Can Do ...wont Do" for me
and "Cant but will do" for Him.

As any one new who wants to move from technical to Management will do, he beleives that management implies policing people and he has earned a nickname enough for that
when he makes rounds ensuring people are at workstations.
Well if am moved enough to write this post its not anyway for the general good it is because i got affected.
Funny part is the guy does not like Emails....
Hence whenever you write one he pulls out issues with it.
Sample 1
"I've finished xxxxxx as specified by you"
He calls me to his desk , says sweetly is it it not work.....what do you mean by as specified by me.
Hmm sadly i had put as specified by you in bold. Oh my habits of highlighting
Sample 2
Now this was a mail to my PL question why was the process not specified.I am quite handy to my PL so we have quite easy conversations and hence the mail was pretty general
" I am not sure how everyone is doing it but i guess it has to be specified when giving work
whether i have to xxx or yyyy for work given by TL"
Now funny part is the person to whom this mail was addressed was least bothered but TL calls and says Dont send such emails when person is around ask personally....(ahaaa)
Email communication is important you see esp it will be useful as you go up....(haaaaa...ab kya
bolen...this from a person who writes superbly funny mails with no spell check or grammatic sense to client...)
The guy probably had a very informal atmosphere at his previous company clients ..he was like
laughing around on a client call in the background talking loudly in regional language. Luckily my PL was on leave else he'd have had it.

I actually am fed up of these so called management theories and self help books....nah not
because i ever bother to read them except look up theier reviews which itself gets to you.

But i forget there is a big audience for these......
sad part is the people who read them think of them like some instant solutions and try to force implement them without even bothering about understanding a scenario.

So how does a guy who's worked in a very technical engg position looking for growth as a manager in a different company do...
Rattle off some lines/ proverbs about Team work...Dedication(i.e dont be late to office/ dont say no to work) and so forth.

Speak about self improvement and the good habits (they behave as if no one else but they have read it and would not know that its from a book).
It was so funny one guy a manager once was telling about dividing those things what you can do something about and what you cant and he spoke as though he was a saint and that was his sermon.
Talk about how important team is....arrange for some radical changes...i.e some one make aback up of all the stuff thats in the clients Config management as we may have issues when we have no net connection ...to US. Oho so what back up for network
here. Back up ke liye back up...ke liye back....and then its put across as a brilliant and
important idea.
No wonder i love Dilbert and Calvin.
But heck management is hard job....
To keep a bunch of no-gooders who are plenty and a few of critical quick but lazy bones like me
and those rare commited hard working ppl motivated or at least talking about motivation to such is indeed a tough job.
A job needing Self Motivation by finding errors in all others is difficult indeed.
A job involving such self sacrifice of one's integrity by talking again and again of self contradicting Lies till they seem like Truth to the speaker i.e self...(who cares about listeners anyway) is hard.

And since i am a hopeless lazy bugger.... i guess i'd stay
I ask myself why i wronged myself by my actions and then i answer myself
"I'm not a failure, I just started on the bottom and I like it there."

Ah if it wasnt for MONEY....
Hmm i love that line
There are somethings money can't buy
For everything else my salary isn't sufficient....

P.S:
OK Ok the major motivation for this post is he dares to question why i come late by an hour or two quite many times(i.e 4 times in a month tch tch).The email thing is minor... i dont feel bad if some one feels great by downplaying me....i'm too arrogant about my English and communication in the Technical set of people i'm around to be affected.
But asking me the late night blogger , to come early that too when not much work to be done......

Well i decided no more SMS from henceforth he will have no info.... suits him right.
Hell in 2 years the PL simply tried thrice to tell me to be on time....
But then some people know where to put in the efforts...and where they sure will go wasted.
Heck people...as long as their work gets done why do some people go by British punctuality stories.